Caleb Dethloff

Today is brought to you by the letter 'O,'as in "Oh no, that was due today?!?"

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

"Did you not do anything today?"

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@BrandonKiefer07 @peterthemiller Little Domino: Sumerian priest-kings collect surplus grain from farmers as taxes

Big Domino: 6000 years later, a man who works with devices that are made of poisoned sand arranged in sigils pays someone else to fix the water system that keeps his house from stinking

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

To the 70-year-old woman that waved me past her at the stop sign so she could light up her cigarette:
Keep playing, player

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@BrandonKiefer07 @peterthemiller Don’t worry Pete, I get it

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

When are we going to be ready, as a society, to discuss how the gunnery of the Black Pearl’s crew in the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie is too proficient for a crew of undisciplined yet lovable rouges?

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@Lost_at_Cee We are, but we sound too shrill and annoying when we do

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@JDoberenz I’m not going to assume I understand satire better than you, or that I’m willing to pay Babylon Bee to see the comments, but I think this one is more about mocking Chic-Fil-A and it’s WASP customer base than it is a commentary on Chinese ‘wet markets’

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

I can only watch one episode of Tiger King at a time before I start screaming questions at the screen and have to go be alone.

Five out of five stars

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

I’ve made better predictions just being in the same room while this season of The Bachelor is on than I’ve ever made for any March Madness bracket, college bowl pick ‘em, or any given Fantasy Football season

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@BrandonKiefer07 Ah, yes, the Lute family, including such members as Mandolin, Halen, and Rusty.

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

*student laughs obnoxiously at teacher’s joke*

Other Student:
You’ve got a little brown on your nose

Student:
Yeah, I don’t know, I think it’s a zit

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

WAKE UP KIDS, IT’S TIME FOR CLASS!!!!

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@BrandonKiefer07 @CalebDethloff you right

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

You ever had a lesson that was bombing so badly the sign language interpreter puts in her headphones and starts watching Netflix?

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@cshores57 Nah, you gotta go with the bear eliminating the lion and gorilla, then the anaconda comes in and chokes him out

[Noah Bruton @noahjbruton]

“What’s your major”
“Social Studies Education”
“Oh are you gonna be a coach?”

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

I just want to put it out there that as wholesome as petting my Sabertooth in Farcry: Primal is, I would like to ride it away from a raging Mammoth instead of having a nice moment before respawning.
Three years late, but still, the Pleistocene deserves it.

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@KappaSigmaTau put pockets in the Tarzan shorts

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@justinmcleckie Taught the 8th grader that wrote a petition to have me “exiled” about westward expansion

[Caleb Dethloff @CalebDethloff]

@peterthemiller You mean God’s work?