I don’t really know the best way to say this so here’s my best shot. Every now and then, after being sober for almost 6 years I think to myself, I could probably handle and conduct myself as an adult, enjoy a drink, and know my limit.
But then I think, would one drink go to two? Then lead to shots? And then lead to forgetting who I am and what I stand for? Probably.
Sure I miss the feeling of being drunk. Who wouldn’t. What I don’t miss is the activity and the consequences. I don’t miss the people you attract because you’re a “good time”. I learned quickly those people aren’t as good of friends as you think they are.
There’s plenty of situations where I miss drinking. At the beach, on vacation with my wife, around the holidays, on stage, etc. it all boils down to who alcohol made me as a person and I simply hate that guy. I forgive him, but I hate him.
Hell, I never even believed I would be capable of quitting. After countless bad decisions and terrifying experiences, I woke up and told my wife one day that I was quitting. Days after, I told everyone around me that I loved that I was quitting. I think that held me accountable in the beginning. After putting it down, I realized that nothing good ever came from it. Not a single thing. For me, at least…