Alyssa Goerke

Beloved daughter of the One true King

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

As a Critical Role, TTRPG girly who has not seen Stranger Things the common knowledge of Vecna really threw me for a loop

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

A guy I studied FINANCE with in UNIVERSITY just posted an awful take on the gas prices oh no 😓

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Made the mistake of telling my mom I saw a TikTok that made me think of her and I now have to explain it to her over text

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

I’m watching Dune tomorrow with friends but I’m already dragging it today

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

I hope my child doesn’t want to learn tap dance

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

How do I get Facebook to stop trying to get me to make a dating profile

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Telling my husband to drive around aimlessly so he runs out of gas and can’t go to work

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Highly uncomfortable at the fact that people used to see my face while I work out

[TODAY @TODAYshow]

'Normal didn't work for us': People with disabilities worry about loss of virtual options
https://t.co/PpbjXOAmrX

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Happened to scroll through the news section of Facebook and three articles in a row were about three separate shootings 😞

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

I cannot comprehend people who say someone deserved to die because they resist arrest. There’s always someone who seems to have a reason for why these murders were justified. It’s scary.

[Hannah Sampson @hannahbsampson]

PSA for the DC area: the mass-vaccination site at the Hagerstown Premium Outlets in Maryland is taking walk-ins for the J&J vaccine. Told us they had so many more doses than appointments. “Spread the word,” they said.

[John Onwuchekwa @JawnO]

Literally sick to my stomach hearing so many horror stories about the way our Asian brothers and sisters have been targeted, punched, beaten, gunned down by cowards.

I would say it’s unbelievable but I’ve thrown that word away a long time ago.

I’m just heartbroken.

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Just watched the #AfterTheFinalRose and I’m just wondering if the mad middle-aged white women on Facebook watched the same show I did?

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Madewell loves to show me sponsored ads for their curvy denim and then when I click the only size available is like 23 🥴 I know y’all aren’t talking to me

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Sure going to a gym can be intimidating but have you ever gone to a rock climbing gym for the first time when you’ve never tried it before and it’s full of people who clearly know each other because they come every week and are really good and you can’t even do the easiest ones?

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Just tried matcha for the first time and I think I’m drinking grass is this normal

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Interesting observation about the people who don’t follow the mask rules at my gym, they seem to have something in common. Any guesses?

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

They’re replacing the sprinkler heads in my apartment so I’m just home alone with 4 men in my apartment fun

[Alyssa Goerke @CallMeAlyssa_01]

Guys the Zoom cat lawyer makes me sad... like he’s trying his best and is probably so embarrassed... if he weren’t an old man I would be less sympathetic but...