andrew

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

My coworker and I were talking about capitalism, and she said, “The Earth is a resort for like 500 rich people, and the rest of us are just the staff.”

Now I can't unsee it.

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

The United States doesn’t even believe teeth should be part of a health plan lmao

[Trucker Fren @frenbilt]

Boomers had the $5 foot long, we have the $5 fountain drink

[Chicago Bears @ChicagoBears]

RT for the chance to win a paintbrush signed by our own Bob Ross, @RomeOdunze 🖌️

[Busby 🏁 @MrBusby4o8]

Like I always said. When Kanye FEELS like it. He can remind yall who the fuck he is..

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

If I ever trip slightly while walking, I make sure to look back and down at the ground so that the people around me know that I'm normally great at walking, but in this particular instance there was something wrong with the ground.

[Pilgrim @VLONEPREDATOR]

they legally cannot call it a burger

[Matt Shumer @mattshumer_]

Every time someone asks me what's going on with AI, I give them the safe answer. Because the real one sounds insane.

I'm done holding back.

I wrote what I wish I could sit down and tell everyone I care about.

Send it to someone who needs to read it.

https://t.co/bRTaral3lj

[Matt Shumer @mattshumer_]

https://t.co/ivXRKXJvQg

[Andrew Lokenauth @FluentInFinance]

Americans filing their taxes this year:

[andrew @CallMeKneps]

@ChipotleTweets stop using garbage AI to resolve customer service issues. Y’all messed up 66% of my entrees and the AI bot offered me a free beverage as compensation and subsequently decided that was satisfactory. Unacceptable.

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

This is the first time I've enjoyed this song

[ral.eth 🔰 @RaleighC]

Oh my gosh $80000 for a bitcoin you guys. Where is this going to peak?

[Taylor Lewan @TaylorLewan77]

Seeing another man this emotional about his dog will bring anyone to tears.

You’re a good man @KirkHerbstreit

[andrew @CallMeKneps]

Just in time for game day, thanks @MikeSchaefer14 !!

[andrew @CallMeKneps]

The best day of my life
Was when you saved it
On the 17th of August
Goddamn, somehow I made it

[andrew @CallMeKneps]

Not a successful Sunday without 2 workouts + a nap