Fahim

Asymptomatic genius |
Bro/Bruh

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Born to be mild

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Do I condone lying to your kids? No

Am I going to correct him when he thinks I invented chicken nuggets? Also no

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

First Diddy and now Maduro.
The oil barons are falling.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Tech industry culture: Grind every day
Astronomer CEO: Say no more

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

God knew I'd be too powerful if I could remember where I put my keys.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

And I shall call him.... Mini Me

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Born too late for classist oligarchy.
Born too early for dystopian oligarchy.
Born just in time for oligarchy.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

No longer followed by a CCP agent collecting my data so now I'm here alone with the CIA agent collecting my data

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Keurig is coffee for people who hate coffee.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

8mo pregnant wife has random pangs of pain shooting down her legs or up her spine, or at her hips. Yells "ow ow ow". She has no idea how it ruins my sleep.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

People call him a "healthcare CEO" but everything I learned tells me he was a healthneglect CEO.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Born too late to live through a historic once-in-a-lifetime event.

Born too early to live through a historic once-in-a-lifetime event.

Born just in time to live though a historic once-in-a-lifetime event.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Scissors were invented in 800BC by losers who couldn't win a simple game of Rock-Paper.

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Wife: you better not be horsing around in front of my family
Me:

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

*How to do Heimlich*
.
.
.
*2 unskippable YouTube ads*

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Hiring: time traveler
Hours: flexible

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

#ACDC sounds like their lead singer's spirit animal is velcro

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Me explaining to my wife how we can afford a $800,000 log cabin in UP Michigan by 2026 if she stops buying avocado toast today

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Leading cause of global warming is the sun

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Wife: do I drive you wild? 😏 😜
Me: uhh you drive me.. Crazy?
Wife: 😐

[Fahim @CallMeTheFro]

Wife is putting up fall decor. Autumn leaf wreath, skeletons, bats, pumpkins, the whole fall experience. It's still August. Her complete lack of respect to September...