I’m always the girl who’s good enough for a situationship but never seems to be enough for a real relationship. And it hurts in a way I don’t always know how to explain, because it makes you question yourself. You start wondering what it is about you that makes people want your attention, your affection, your time and your body, but somehow hesitate when it comes to actually choosing you. You become the girl they want around when it’s convenient, the girl they miss when they’re lonely and the girl they keep coming back to without ever making a real commitment. After a while, you start wondering if there’s something about you that makes people see you as temporary. You watch other people get the love, the effort and the commitment you’ve been hoping for, and you can’t help but wonder why it always seems so difficult for someone to choose you in the same way. But deep down, I know my worth shouldn’t be measured by how willing someone is to commit to me. I know that being wanted in private but not chosen in public doesn’t mean I’m lacking something. Still, knowing that doesn’t always stop it from hurting. I’m tired of being someone’s almost, someone’s maybe and someone’s temporary comfort. I want to be loved with intention, chosen without hesitation and wanted by someone who isn’t afraid to make me their person.
i like a man who actually LIKES me. not just a man who wants to sleep with me, claim me, or keep me from dealing with somebody else. i’m talking about a man who genuinely enjoys my company, wants to hear my voice, remembers the little things i tell him, and makes plans with me without me having to beg. because some men will swear up and down they love you but act like spending time with you is a chore. baby i don’t want to be somebody’s responsibility, i want to be somebody’s FAVORITE person.