Calum Hughes

a problem shared is a problem halved. is that why my tweets are only 50% funny?

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@richardosman just listened to your “History of Ice Cream” podcast episode. I have good news! The flavour you invented exists. If you’re ever in New Zealand try Duck Islands Ambrosia flavour. Tangy raspberry, crispy dark chocolate… almost exactly as you described!

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

I am henceforth referring to speeding tickets as “cool guy tax”

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

Such a shame that old Joe is a gravy brain geriatric. Really the best you can do America?? Really?!? #bringback46yearoldpresidents

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

I sat down with @JoeBiden to talk about the most pressing issues of our time. He's exactly the leader we need right now––with the vision, the plans, and character to move America forward.

Let's get to work: https://t.co/AsR0wFSWRC https://t.co/YCjqCCCtcx

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

I just dropped butter chicken on the cat and then held her up for the dog to lick clean

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RVWDeerhound No and also Never

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

Can someone be sure to remind the @nationalparty that whoever’s last to leave should turn off the lights and lock the door behind them?

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@tomsegura @ChristinaP you’re missing out on @scottymeehan on TikTok. He’s beautiful. Right up your alley mate

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RVWDeerhound You polish your shoes don’t you?

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RVWDeerhound

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

Mindy Kaling and Dan Goor have signed on to write the script for MGM's #LegallyBlonde3 https://t.co/aRAdTAa7Pq

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RVWDeerhound They’ve literally only just signed @mindykaling on to write it god read a newspaper

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

My friend just said that American Psycho is his favourite film. Need I be worried?

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RealCandaceO is the “I have black friends” of the #Republican party #BLM

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@RealCandaceO is the “I have black friends” of the #Republican community #BLM

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

Hey say what you will about Machine Gun Kelly’s piss-poor rapping and overblown, tacky, self indulgent style, that dude is a straight up shitty actor. Watching #thedirt

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@dgjones The Karazan Quartet by V.M Jones! Four books starting with The Serpents of Arakesh. Fantastic fantasy about orphans and magic and computer games with beautiful writing and characters. One of the series I used to wish I could forget all about just so I could read again fresh!

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

The whole “sharp line, skin fade” was a trend started by the fashion industry or barbers trying to milk men (traditionally less reliable consumers) of their hard earned money. Wake up sheeple. You don’t need a trim every two weeks any more than eyeshadow needs to cost $60 #woke

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@joerogan @RVWDeerhound has been reading the lads Quarentine Erotica in the group chat to keep us goin through these cold times.

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

Happy Wrestle Mania 36 everyone! Just a thought: pro wrestling isn’t a sport, it’s just theatre that people actually want to go to!

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

@Dad_bod_69 I’m growing my moustache out 😎

[Calum Hughes @CalumHughes14]

Kinda tired... pretty keen to just stay in this weekend 😕