Luke Calverley

I'm a care worker, I'm 24, I live by the sea, party on the roof and sleep wherever I get tired. And the more I do these things the more ridiculous they come out

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

@mounty68 @Steve____D weird weird film. Interstellar was clearly Nolans love letter to 2001

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Don't care wha no fucker says, Kasabian, best band int world innit! Topa the tits yeah?? #justcalmdownandtakeyourmedication

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Narrow minded people who refuse to listen to anything accept the music they like can jog the fuck on #opinions

[Speak Comedy @SpeakComedy]

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands! *slaps knee*

I love this joke because it never grows old.

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

I wouldn't mind the neighbours fucking if they didn't do it at the same time in the same room with the same noises every night!! #mixitup

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

@TheGoogleFactz what a load of crap! Haha

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

I just asked Jeeves something for the first time in ten years. Turns out Brandon Flowers wouldn't last v long in a Vs match with an Eagle.

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Ate a Big Mac with a side of 40 McNuggets last time I went out drinking and DIDNT have a heart attack, shit blood or die. #GodGotmyBack

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Woke up a few days ago to a red robin trapped in the living room and it DIDNT shit everywhere on its way out. #GodGotmyBack

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Cycled to work most days last week and DIDNT get soaked once. #Godgotmyback

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Mama was crappy, Occulus was weird and Godzilla was just a bit daft. Atomic breath indeed. #ourhalloween #frightnight #chipsdipsanddvds

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Just seen the coke advert for the first time. NOW ill accept Christmas is coming. Just gotta do the decorating and all that shopping shit :/

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

Reading Doctor Sleep after watching the Shining at Dukes playhouse last week. Not as good but I do love bein in Kings world. #shiningsequel

[Minnie Mouse @minnie_in_pink7]

Calm the fuck down, people younger than me who have their shit together.

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

@mounty68 @KatieChattell89 @rinkydink671 @peccavi92 @clgrimey nicee. Gona put walk in shower in the flat when the roofs done. #inspiration

[Luke Calverley @CalverleyLuke]

@mounty68 @KatieChattell89 @rinkydink671 @peccavi92 @clgrimey new roof trumps new bathroom, will have finished by 28th #birthdayparty