Calvinist Neckbeard

Redeemed by m'Lord. When you were partying I studied The Sword of the Spirit

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Sorry, the old me can't tweet right now.
Why?
Oh, because it was crucified with Christ so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Thanks, Twitter, you always come through for me whenever I think I might doubt total depravity in our world.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Remnants of Karen would be a good name for a rock band.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Calvinism sounded to me like...

But then I was like...

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Johann Tetzel making the case for Indulgences like

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

@TypYouthPastor Technically the truth

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Can you even call it Ezekiel bread if it isn't cooked over cow dung?
I don't think so.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Actually...

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

@MaggieMelchior @IgnatiusUnderh2 Not from an Arminian.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Did you ever hear the heresy of Pelagius?

I thought not. It’s not a story the Arminians would tell you.

It’s a Calvinist legend.

Pelagius was a theologian of the Brits, so confused that he thought men could do good on their own.

Ironic.

He could be saved, but not by himself.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Jesus said, "It is finished."

He didn't say, "Welp, I've done what I can do. The rest is up to you."

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Q: How many antinomians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: We are under no obligation to keep the lightbulb glowing.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Even David didn't dance like that!

(Watch out, it's loud)

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Christian ≠ Republican
Christian ≠ Democrat
Christian ≠ Libertarian
Christian ≠ Right Wing
Christian ≠ Left Wing
Christian ≠ Centrist
Christian ≠ Capitalist
Christian ≠ Socialist
Christian ≠ American
Christian ≠ Southern
Christian ≠ Northern
Christian = Live Christlike

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

@CalvinistChewy @TheCraigWest @CalvinAwkward @Calvinisht Though it's nothing like the neck beard you are rocking. You must be quite the Chad with the lady folk.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

If God had elected to save the daylight, its saving would never end.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Nailed It.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Pumpkin Spice Latte tastes like heresy.

[Calvinisht Connery @Calvinisht]

“If any man thinksh ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are worshe than he thinksh you to be.”

Charlesh Shpurgeon

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

No Calvinist should ever drink Taster's Choice.

[Calvinist Neckbeard @CalvinNeckbeard]

Next time you drink coffee from your church, ask if it is custom ground locally by people who import from overseas missionaries who pay a fair wage to locals harvesting the beans from trees your church planted while ministering in that country.

I can say yes. Can you?