Calvin Mallow

Professional bleacher creature. King of the Freudian slip. Custodian of the Watertown Goslings Sports Updates account (@GoslingsUpdates). SconnieSA on Ao3.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

I’m still too old to be doing this. I’m still too dorky to do this dozens of times during the school year. I’m still too out-of-shape to keep doing the rollercoaster.

But I don’t care. To help give these kids lasting memories & hear them shout for joy… there’s nothing better!

[Watertown Goslings Sports Updates @GoslingsUpdates]

Special shoutout to Tom Cashin for the “video broadcast” of today’s rollercoaster at the Homecoming pep rally! Always one of the highlights, always one of best things about homecoming Friday!

[Dominic Cotroneo @Dom_Cotroneo]

Everyone in Milwaukee:

“Dammit Canada”

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

🎶 Smoooooooke on the water 🎶

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Can it not be stupidly humid for one freaking day?

[Jon Gruden @BarstoolGruden]

Thinking about football.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Is it the all-star break yet?

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

You can’t get more aggressively American than being able to order and eat a burger and fries at 5 in the morning.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Losing both games today AND going 0-4 lifetime when I catch the Brewers on the road.

Cool. Cool cool cool.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Circle up and split today.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Ashby… thanks a lot

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Rally caps at full mast. Ironically against the Pirates of all teams.

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Quelle surprise, Ashby

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Ashby, for the love of all things holy…

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

WILD BILL STRIKES AGAIN!

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

SALVATORE!

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Cooooooooooooooper Pratt!

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Have I mentioned how much I love Jake Bauers?

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

Can the Brewers win a challenge one of these days?

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

PNC Park, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

[Calvin Mallow @Calvin_Bruce61]

No booze at an airport before 6am? In Wisconsin of all places?!