sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches, lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. mountain cliffs. blue skies and rainy days. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats.
parking at hospitals should be free and I will die on this hill
the audacity to ask people who are struggling emotionally/physically/mentally to PAY to be in a place where they don’t even want to be in the first place 😠😤
not me. if you were a flower id carefully dig you up making sure i didn’t damage your root system & then id pot you up in an appropriately sized planter with a high quality soil mix, set you in my sunniest windowsill & make sure to water you regularly so your soil never dries out
on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me 55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS
Getting her an engagement ring for Christmas?
- predictable
- no element of surprise
- perhaps, too romantic
- not a legal form of ID
Getting her a lifetime fishing license for Christmas?
- instant shock and awe
- will never see it coming
- is an official state document
Trick or treat others how they want to be trick or treated
yo this tweet is so fuckin funny. Viral potential for sure. Put this thing on a door mat or a refrigerator magnet. This has got to be one of the top tweets of the year by far. I killed this shit. So good. Thank you!