oops

yikes

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I plead the fifth

...of vodka

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"let's get high and talk about other times we got high"

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@grkender I hate u

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comparison is the thief of joy

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plot twist: the lighter steals your friend

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can't u see I'm trying 2 disappear into the background and not interact with u???

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"if you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. if you pull it off again, the lizard will be like, 'dude.'"

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accident opened a fb message, currently cursing the ghost of mark zuckerberg

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still being on MySpace is her real problem

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this is so real

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if you think god makes miracles you have to wonder if the devil has a few up his sleeve

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the x-files theme song is everything

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sorry I don't tweet anymore ...

~😟~

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@of_Dontreal yeah sure good luck u vagabond

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@of_Dontreal yeah idk what his plan of action is though

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@of_Dontreal yeah I just called him I guess he'll be in touch

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be the person you needed when you were a kid