Canoe Themoose

“Oh yeah? Well, joke’s on you because…” *disappears in a cloud of smoke and glitter*

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

The Shapeshifter role in Among Us just brought new meaning to Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

Right now I’m just sitting here thinking about the fact that we really can run things, and things truly don’t have to run we, you know?

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

@jessieg11 @thatonequeen WhOoOoOoOoa...
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...That’s craaaaaaaazy, dyude.

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

So, I was looking through my old tweets just now because apparently I like to make myself cringe, and it turns out, too much cringe really can make you shrivel up and die.

I am a ghost now.

This tweet was actually me testing whether or not ghost twitter reaches the human realm.

[Shayne Topp @supershayne]

tik tok dances look dumb as hell until you watch the original creators perform them

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

@jessieg11 @ChazWearsPants I can’t believe he missed the party.😩

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

@jessieg11 No cap, deadass, wawaweewah. ;)

[Tommy Bowe @TomeyBones]

YAS GAGA! 🏳️‍🌈 Prezzy Joe you SLAYED it 👊 and JLO gurl 😻 YAS I’ve been 𝒲𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝑜𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 🕺🏼 Bernie you 👏 BEIGE 👏 BITCH 👏 You should have been President but the DNC made sure you didn’t get the nom

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

Damn, he was impeached AGAIN. If you somehow STILL support Trump at this point, this is so black and white now, you have no legitimate excuses.

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

Highlights of the night in no particular order:
• Me and a rando named WAP getting imposter together
• Naty shouting, “No, it was sniffsniff!”
• The rando named sniffsniff just existing to sniff the vents
• Typing ACAB right before voting out a rando named Police 1

[Damien Haas @DamienHaas]

Calling for peace while simultaneously spewing the lies that got us here. An actual, literal monster.

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

Anyone else ever feel pain in their pinky toe joint bone that almost makes it seem like a sixth lil toe might just sprout up from said foot one day for no reason? No?
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Cool...Well, good talk, I guess.

[kurtis conner @kurtisconner]

cool fun things to say after sex:

“wow babe that was total vine energy”

“I’m thinkin’ Arby’s”

“I think you’re the Zodiac killer”

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

@ChazWearsPants hasn’t been talking this whole game of Among Us, and that’s pretty sus. Just sayin’.

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

Honestly think it’s kinda rude how hulu removed the total ad time count in the corner. Like, do I have enough time to finish making my ramen, or should I shove twelve saltines into my mouth and run back?

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

@roomieofficial How are these lyrics so simultaneously depressing and hilarious? I cannot. Just oof.

[Kamala Harris @KamalaHarris]

On this Transgender Day of Remembrance, we honor the memory of the at least 37 transgender or gender-nonconforming people killed this year—the majority of whom were Black and Latinx transgender women.

Today and every day we must recommit to ending this epidemic. #TDOR

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

delete tweet yeet fleet?

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

tweet yeet fleet

[Canoe Themoose @CanoeThemoose]

You ever make a joke about something sorta nerdy that you only kinda know about, and then a MegaOtaku™️ shows up in your comments armed with a “wELL, aCtUaLLy...” that makes your very life flash before your noob eyes?