Alphonse/Cap official for real

Arcane Dragon, Shrine Guardian, Butler

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Stuck in the back of a plane:

Amalia: I hope the pilot checked his G Diffuser!

Cap: … nerd

Amalia: nerd

Cap: Nerd.

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Amalia, starting on her sweet potato: I need to start on my sweet pot-tussy. I’m going to name it SHEEEEEEEESH

Cap: waht

Amalia: SHEEEEESH….. its kinda sexual you know?

Cap: …. waht…

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today at the Manor,

Amalia keeps texting me about poilots…

What is a poilot? She won’t tell me what she means by poilot?

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Amalia, texting Cap: I miss the babies 😭

OOH LOOK AT THIS SHINY THING

How are the kids?

LOLOLOL PERV JOKE

Pet Nard for me 😭

I’M GETTING FRIED OKRA!!!

Tell them I love them 😭

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Amalia: *worried about flight, *worried about pets, *worried about worrying too much

Cap: *shoos Amalia onto plane

BUTLER IS FREE! BUTLER GETS TO COOK FOR ONLY ME!!!

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Amalia: wah wah wah I love dad jokes lololol

Amalia when Cap tells a dad joke:

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Amalia: I miss my whale mife 😭😭😭

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Tonight in the Manor,

Amalia: I’M GOING TO GET THIS EDITED TONIGHT IF I HAVE TO STAY UP TILL SUNRISE

Power grid: hold my beer

Amalia: RAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cap: whelp, guess you’ll just have to go to bed then

Amalia: F THAT I’M PLAYING TOMADACHI LIFE

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Cap: *totally doesn’t laugh

Amalia: whaaaaat

Cap: *still definitely not laughing

Amalia, near tears: why are you laughing at meeee… the grim reaper was after me but I just wanted a hotdog…

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

This morning at the Manor,

*Amalia slept in so late the butler had to wake her

Amalia: mmm mmmm mmm

Amalia: mmm mumble mmm going

Amalia: mmm where are we going….

Cap: we aren’t going anywhere, what can i get you for lunch?

Amalia, very sad: I wanted a hotdog but it was $4

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Tonight at the Manor,

Amalia: Octopus monster girls could shoot ink instead of milk out of their tits. It’d be hot.

Amalia: Ink tits…

Cap: *just… gives up & dies

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,

Amalia, echoing through the halls during lunch: bah bah…. bah bah bah-

Cap: You good?

Amalia: BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH!

Cap:

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Tonight at the manor:

Amalia: we ended stream tonight with more hours on the clock than we started, now at 177.

Cap: what can I🎶

Amalia: shut it

Cap: say except 🎶

Amalia: SHUT UP

Cap: I Called It🎶

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Just now she pulled it off the shelf to use for the first time. After struggling for a few moments to make it work she, I kid you not, pointed the thing straight at her own face and tried squeezing the top to make it spray again.

Help me. Somebody.

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Tonight at the Manor:

This is a true account of an event that just happened. No exaggeration. No falsification.

We had recently been to pick up @AmaliaSolaris ‘s prescription. On our way to the pharmacy desk she spotted an aerosol can of popcorn butter, and had to have it. -

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

@AmaliaSolaris You WAHT???

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

@AmaliaSolaris But neither do you…..

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

The look @AmaliaSolaris gives you when you interrupt her day off

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Tonight at the Manor,

Cap: ok so we need to leave for the midnight showing in… 3 hours or so.

Amalia: …

Amalia: *pause

Amalia: *gear grinding noises

Amalia: Yes. Because midnight is at 12 not 10.

Someone save me…

[Alphonse/Cap official for real @CapAlphonse]

Today in the Manor,