CapGenius

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[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

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[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

My love language? Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch…and aggressively sending memes all day.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Why is it called a "team meeting" when only one person talks and everyone else suffers?

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

I’m not single, I’m just in a long-term relationship with disappointment.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Everyone set your reminders now: Valentine’s Day candy goes on sale February 15th. That’s the real holiday.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Nothing prepares you for adulthood like realizing that ‘We should hang out soon’ was just a polite way of saying goodbye forever.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

No one talks about the emotional damage of opening the fridge and realizing you already ate the food you were dreaming about all day.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

I SEVERELY underestimated the amount of people that actually wanted to "circle back with me" after the holidays

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

My toxic trait is thinking I can organize my entire life in one weekend

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

The most unrealistic part of any fitness commercial is someone smiling on a treadmill

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Nobody warned me that being an adult meant having a ‘dish towel hierarchy’—the fancy ones, the backup ones, and the ones that are too ugly to throw out but too nice to clean up spaghetti sauce

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Social media is exhausting, but I’m too nosy to quit

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Being productive in January is like trying to run underwater

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Anyone else forget how to do their job after being OOO for the last two weeks?

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Mentally still OOO

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

When you ask me what my plans are for the weekend and I say "nothing" that is my plan and no I don't want to do anything with you but thanks for asking.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

There’s a fine line between self-care and ignoring all your responsibilities and WOW do i barely walk that line well

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

What do we want? To be left alone! When do we want it? Literally always.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Normalize "Can this wait until January?" as a valid response to any inbound requests at work.

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

Working during the holidays feels illegal. Like, why am I here when Mariah Carey is playing?

[CapGenius @CapGeniusApp]

December work productivity is just pretending to type while thinking about what to eat next lol