Capitol PUNishment

Monthly comedy show featuring local comedians and civilians in a verbal smackdown using only their wits as wea-puns. Hilarity ensues.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

This week on our show, Carissa Gutierrez, a.k.a. Lando Carissian, brings skills and mind tricks that are Je-die for.

Capitol PUNishment: May the Third Be With You
Friday, 8 pm. Luna's Cafe $10. Cash preferred.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

What's a Sarlacc pit's favorite dish?
Broccoli Robbie with Boba Fetta cheese.

...Anyway...
Robbie Rickgauer is on our show this week and makes much better Star Wars puns than that one. Come see!

Capitol... https://t.co/pLxqUHeRxb

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Coming to our stage this week: Luke "The Moof Milker" Soin. He is one with wordplay and with The Force.
You could say he has a high count of witty-chlorians.

Capitol PUNishment: May the Third Be With You
Friday, 8 pm. Luna's Cafe $10. Cash preferred.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

On our show this week is the always-entertaining Kelley Nicole! Wait til you see her Ewalk on stage, it's Endorable.

Capitol PUNishment: May the Third Be With You
Luna's Cafe Friday. 8 pm. $10. Cash preferred.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Our producer, Emily "Crafty AF" Gilstrap, is sew excited for tomorrow! She's aiming to needle her opponents and keep you all in stitches. Seams about right.

Luna's Cafe. 8 pm. $10. Cash preferred.
Capitol PUNishment: Sprung!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Me: "I can't believe you're afraid of apes."
Kelley Nicole: "I'm not afraid of apes; I'm afraid of monkeys."
Me: "De tails, de tails."

Come see Kelley on our show tomorrow night at 8!*
Capitol PUNishment: Sprung!

*Things to bring: Moneys. Things not to bring: Monkeys.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

We're very excited to welcome Justine "The Hamburger Helper" Lopez to our show this month. They call her that because she uses the ol' noodle and can get really cheesy. Come see what she brings to the table!

Capitol PUNishment: Sprung!
This Friday, 8 pm, Luna's Cafe

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Jason Bargert is Barging onto the stage this Friday. Will he delight the Bar-goers? Or will it be more than he Bargained for?

Find out Friday at 8 pm!
Capitol PUNishment: Sprung!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

We've got D.j. "The Teflon Turban" Sandhu filling in as a Boss tonight! Nothing Sikhs to that guy.

Capitol PUNishment

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Gabriel Gee is stepping onto our stage in shoes from a box signed by David J. He's ready to rock the Haus and take a Bau.

This Friday night! 8 pm @ Luna's Cafe!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

She's bringing an invisible jet to a punfight: Pun-der Woman, a.k.a. Anastassia Spitzer, is back on our stage this week!

Tickets are $10 at the door. Cash preferred.
Capitol PUNishment

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

We're excited to have Teo "Don't Hate the Playa, Hate the Game Master" Morgan back on the show this Friday. He's sure to be a critical hit!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Daniel Humbarger is out of the country, leaving us in a fog. Damian Harmony and Mark Burg need help. Amy Gilson, with your wit so bright, won’t you help us slay tonight?

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

What's short, funny, and grows on the north side of trees?
Nicole L-Eichenberg!
Come see this mossy lady battle for the proverbial belt tonight! Luna's Cafe @ 8 pm

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Check your email preferences, folks. Returning to the show, it's the Punsubscriber, Drew Kimzey.
Come see him on stage and if you're really lucky, afterward he might tell you about his adventures with land crabs. This Friday!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Many of us have been to aquariums; we like to watch sharks. Robert Omoto has been in a shark cage; he likes when sharks watch him. Now he wants you to come to our show to watch him. He wants you to be like... https://t.co/jzBotfz4Az

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Anastassia “Pun-der Woman” Spitzer is coming to the Capitol Punishment stage this week. Will she be golden or only lasso-so? Find out Friday, Dec 7 @ 8 pm @ Luna's Cafe.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Dejan Tyler is joining us as a special guest tonight. He will join Damian Harmony in the epic boss battle. Will he hold his own? Will he intimidate the contestants? Will Mark pronounce his name correctly? Come find out!

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

Joey Stults can’t wait for the show mañana. But it’s not Friday yet, so he’ll have to be patient tilde then.

[Capitol PUNishment @CapitolPUNs]

This Friday, we have our first ever bubbleologist on the show! Mz. Pop is taking the stage. Will she blow it? Only one way to find out! Come join us at Luna's Cafe this Friday at 8 pm.