Vatican Post Office (Not)

No actual letters are delivered by this parody account

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Hey, I am a back! By a accident I said words in Latin and a co-worker reported me to Vatican. I was in re-education accompaniment camp for year. I feel much better now. I a promise.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Please note, after latest incident of dangerous mail, VPO can no longer accept packages containing bullets, bombs, rosaries, prayer cards, Vigano letters, or Prayer cards displaying the Blessed Virgin. Nota bene: Pachamama postcards available at VPO gift shop for the vaccinated.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

I am a very happy to report we found the inbound weapons and threats before reaching Pope. Unfortunately there is nothing we can at this time about outbound weapons and threats.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

After Friday Motu Proprio, Vatican Post Office will a shut down for a while. Too many ticking things.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Please note, all letters sent to Vatican regarding Summorum Pontificum will be sent to dead letter department, as has been our long-standing policy.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Is this thing on?

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

To my American Friends, I know it's a your Thanksgiving but please stop a saying gobble gobble to me, it remind me of time I was seminarian at McCarrick's beach house.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

So embarrassing when you wear last year's outfit to this year's Antichrist cosplay event.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Vatican now preparing report to claim that they a had no idea and no reports Fr. Martin was a gay heretic, but if they did know, it was Vigano's fault too.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Dear Vatican, your replenishment order for 6 tons of whitewash has arrived at Post Office. Please pick up at earliest convenience.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Following Vatican model, I issue report to my wife about my bad behavior. Report states that institutional culture failed me and the person most to blame is my brother for being a snitch. Mistakes were made, time to move on.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Pope generously offers USA a nice group from St. Gallen, Switzerland to help make sure election is fair.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

The Vatican, in order to assure everyone of the veracity of next week's McCarrick report, has had impeccable Philadelphia election officials review it for error.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Vatican confirms it minted Pachamama coins because a pinch of incense for false gods was too unwieldly.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Things going so poorly for Pope lately, Vatican to send million euros to bribe Australia to indict Cardinale Becciu just to change subject.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Pope Francis orders everyone in Vatican Finances to wear a mask! Not because COVID, because thats a what thieves wear.

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Pope Francis make it easy on future Pope. He just have to republish Tutti Frutti under title "Syllabus of Errors"

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Pope Francis say that while he hide in closet while Cardinal Zen hung around piazza for 120 hours, he felt like he lost his freedom, like prisoner in concentration camp,

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

Vatican is a all excited about release of a new Pope Francis document "Frutti Tutti" which will unite a all men in their love for Froot Loops. Or unite all Fruit Loops in their common love for men. Or something a like that. Walking together as brothers, like Becciu..

[Vatican Post Office (Not) @CaproEspiatori]

It has a been long crazy summer with no much to laugh about. But I hear Papa Francesco is coming out with a document that will totally lighten the mood. More to a come...