Caps Lock News

News That's Worth Using Caps Lock. Satire.

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BREAKING: Presidential Pardons Now Available as In-App Purchases on the White House App https://t.co/x0LxOyOqEY

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Study: Republicans Obsessed With AOC Because They’re Attracted To Her https://t.co/WPgxLotyoL

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Republicans Excited to Find Out What’s in “Big Beautiful Bill” They Just Passed https://t.co/jXWGbDy5HO

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Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle https://t.co/DPPdzczCUm

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Pete Hegseth Wondering Whether Uranium Would Be A Good Mixer https://t.co/hrNvbOU2MS

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BREAKING: Climate Summit Canceled Due to Unexpected Blizzard in July https://t.co/YI3ux0XsGb

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Andy Reid Removes Bald Cap for National Anthem https://t.co/CDvUUu1neA

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Call of Duty To Add New Competitive Modes: Employed and Unemployed https://t.co/5zAFn3icxY

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Trump Opens Up Nation’s Aquariums To Commercial Fishing https://t.co/wiVvcoccIH

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Russell Brand Invited To Florida College To Teach Sexual Assault Workshop https://t.co/4wjyz0E177

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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship https://t.co/eJFvm369g6

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Trump Invites WNBA Fans Who Yelled Slurs At Angel Reese To White House https://t.co/gIglM211wu

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Trump Escalates Musk Feud By Nuking Mars https://t.co/6b3slYuECr

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BREAKING: State Department Designates WNBA As Terrorist Organization https://t.co/eXZTXIoPPk

[Americaisms @Americaisms_]

Supreme Court Rules 6–3 That Memes Are Now Legally Binding Contracts https://t.co/S7Y9NzGsy1

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Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants https://t.co/klwK0hT5s3

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@acnewsitics Someone OD’d on TACO’s.

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@akafaceUS Study: Republicans Obsessed With AOC Because They’re Attracted To Her https://t.co/WPgxLot0zd

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“They're basically nature’s pride flags,” Governor explains while signing executive order under clear skies.

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BREAKING: Ron DeSantis Bans Rainbows for Being “Too Woke” https://t.co/z4knmyIgSx

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BREAKING: Trump Is Actively Lost In The White House. Again. https://t.co/hHZhN54upk

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BREAKING: New Global Virus Called ID-10T Is Spreading Quickly https://t.co/HNaIWw6VRl