Capt. Caleb Williams

Trojan War Veteran. Former Heis' Man Medal of Honor winner. Leader of the 26th Chicago Regiment. Reknown Ice Trader.

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

These words evade me. The Draft Council sent word by telegram that I am to be dispatched to Chicago in immediacy!

Rest assured that I will carry our family name with honor & distinction. Your pride is my guiding light.

I find myself gone with the Wind to Chicago.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

The Patriots dispatch Lt. Maye to our Northern front to cross the Michigan in secrecy.

They send Maye to challenge the Iceman, forgetting that spring must first survive winter.

Their forefathers defeated an empire. Their descendants cannot defeat a forecast.

—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

I marched upon Atlanta expecting Falcons, only to discover pigeons with a generous advertising budget.

The Peach Brigade was routed, their feathers scattered and dignity plucked.

Let them question my fitness for battle. I question their fitness for war.

Yours.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Sound the trumpets! The Dairy Platoon hath beaten our reserves!

Scouts confirm the Frenchman LeFleur reveled with unbridled glee, having found an army sufficiently depleted for him to conquer.

Enjoy thy milk whilst it remains sweet. The reckoning shall sour it.

—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

A giant of the North hath fallen.

Gen. Michael Ditka, conqueror of ‘85, led Chicago’s mighty regiment to glory & bestowed upon our city a championship immortal.

His name is etched in the annals of war. His banner shall never fall.

Rest, General. Chicago remembers.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

The men labored these past few battles and were deserving of some light musement.

Mercifully, the New York circus came to town.

The aerial acrobats were grounded, the green costumes soiled & their grand spectacle became a comedy.

Chicago applauds their effort.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Grave news from the Philadelphia encampment.

Their men arrived boasting of Brotherly Love, yet depart coughing, trembling & unable to look one another in the eye.

The medics have reached a diagnosis: A severe Case of the Keenums.

There is no known cure.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Splendid news from Wisconia. The Dairy Platoon hath been penetrated upon their own soil by the a Georgian Peach Brigade.

Their leader? A young commander named Penix.

Mother, I have been instructed not to make the obvious jest. Green Bay could not handle the Penix.

—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

The medics have studied the magnetic portraits of my leg & report, to their astonishment, no injury of consequence.

Thus, I may lead the troops against those Brotherly Lovers. Tell them to bring their cracked bell west.

Chicago shall be waiting when it tolls.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

I write with an unsteady hand. As I charged toward the enemy’s final line, victory within sight, my right leg betrayed me and I fell upon the field.

The doctors know not yet the extent of the injury but pray it is but a flesh wound.

There is still a war to be won.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

The Vikings descend from their 10,000 puddles and march upon Soldier Field, dressed as Norse conquerors with no conquest to their name.

They bring tin horns, purple garments & the confidence of men unfamiliar with glory.

By sundown, their horns shall fall silent.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Victory in Carolina!

Though I confess, there was little left to plunder. Major Poles raided these lands years ago, departing with their finest provisions, claims upon their future & that which would deliver me unto Chicago.

Today, we merely returned for the pelts.

—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Chicago—

Come forth from hibernation! The long wait is over, the drums sound anew & our unit marches upon Carolina!

Let every man of the North answer the summons, for whatever last winter took from us, let this autumn return.

Panthers make fine pelts for Northern winters.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Lt. Denniston Moore—

It aches the bosom that you have been relieved of duty. The last two annums have been filled with joy & despair.

They will sing songs of our victories against the Dairy Platoon and our heroics in ballistic maneuvers.

You remain written in my story.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

We have lost the battle, but the war will wage as long as I manage this post of Chicago. Defeat may visit us, but it shall not remain.

This too shall pass.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Scouts report from the Navy Patrol that the Dairy Platoon were last seen fleeing to the territory south of the Alamo, known as Cancun.

It is in their fortune for they will not find any ice in that region. Alas, they will melt in their own misery.

Yours in victory.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Victory hath been secured! The antidotes distributed to the public for lactase in the water supply proved vital in the waning moments.

A civilian secured a dairy-shredding device amidst the height of battle.

The knees of the enemy are bent.

Good. Better. Best.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

I write by candlelight as the Dairy Platoon stirs. They begin to march and by morrow’s night will press upon our soil.

The flame’s flicker throws shadows upon the barracks; the men stand solemn behind the quiet faith of our civilians.

Dost thou believe in Monsters?
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Word comes from the Northern Frontier that the cow bosoms have dried from exploitation, leaving Wisconsin dairy farms barren.

The taxes will be amassed into our coffers & the Reserve Bank pledges improved muskets and rifles for my sidearm.

We have taken the North.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

With bated breathe, our troops arrived at the gates of destiny. The Dairy Platoon was stifled as our unit was armed with lactase pills.

As the last of the candlelight flickered, Lt. Moore recovered the aerial ballistic. The Frenchman, LaFleur, bent his knee.

Yours.
—CW

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Mother—

Many a men pledge fealty to the Dogwalkers of Cleve's Land by pinning hopes on a prince yet unproven.

Onward we march to to hold the north against the Dairy Platoon. Fear not, our apothecaries prepare Lactase pills.

I shall take my dayrest under the Sun's light.
—CW