Capt. Dakota Prescott

Soldier. Cowboy. Parody.

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Still, father, I shall lead these men into battle come September. The nation mocks us, but they mocked the Romans too before the playoffs began.

I received your package of medicinal whiskey and offensive line suggestions. Both are desperately needed.

— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father,

The offseason campaign in Dallas has been grim. Jerry, our General, has once again promised reinforcements, yet the only wagon to arrive carried a 3rd-string tight end and two defensive backs from the Canadian frontier.

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

CeeDee remains a fearless warrior, though he grows restless from running routes against scarecrows and interns. Micah storms through camp like an untamed cavalry horse demanding we “go all in,” but ownership instead purchased a slightly used long snapper and called it victory.

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father —
We heard rumblings of Bears in our camp. We thought it to be a battle of many great beast, but fear not, it is only their bitty offspring. Our campaign is marching along - silencing the doubt in our supporters with every step. Confidence is growing.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest Father —
We were bested by Capt. Brady, the behemoth known simply as Gronk, and the rest of the pirate men. My sidearm was true, my sight tremendous. Largely, we gave as good as we got in the exchange of fire. But, alas, the battle plan fell through. Now, onward.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest Father —
My sidearm proficiency is quickly returning. my sights are sharper, and my reload speed quickens. I shall battle soon.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest Father —
My sidearm continues to mend, and, in time, will fire once more. Whispers of disbelief float around camp about my ability to perform. Success shall show them the truth.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest Father,

The ink has dried. The deal is complete. 4 more years in Fort AT&T!

- Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father —
The medic cared for me quite intently. Surgery was successful and my recovery begins now. Many men, from many troops, have wished me well. I am ever so grateful. This shall not impact my demand for 40 horses, as I am now as intent as ever.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father—
It is with a heavy heart I inform you my campaign has ended. The nature of war is dangerous, and has claimed me as a victim of its danger. While devastated, I will be proud of this team week after week, day after day, fight after fight. I shall see you soon.
—Dak

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father —
It has been long and deep times since I last wrote. I have been fighting a battle much greater than the one that occurs on the field of battle. Through it all, I remained true. We are fighting an improbable battle, but victory was not made to be easy.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father,

Risen from the depths of the Green Bay, our General has arrived.

- Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father,

A new general awaits us.

- Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest haters—

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father —
The sea cows battled as expected, with their abilities being hampered by the lack of water at our home land camp. They were not prepared for battle, looking similar to a fish out of water. We shall continue to thwart the doubt in this troop. I love you.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father—
We have returned to Fort AT&T after victory in the Merry Lands. There is word that tiny sea cows are to invade in 2 days time. How shall they survive our dry land home camp? We shall practice in water to ensure we are not outmaneuvered. Great vigilance.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father —
The cannon is firing at an unprecedented rate. Our unit continues to march victoriously without much worry. Though I must admit, I ran for my life around morn. Many well-established indigenous people chased me for nearly 50 yards. Thankful to live.
— Dakota

[Capt. Dakota Prescott @CaptDakPrescott]

Dearest father—
When word reached the cities of a battle with giants, many men feared our squishing. Those men were far from giants, and my cannon and resolve proved true. I am so thrilled, my pen trimbles as I write. Stupendous! My plea for 40 horses grows stronger...
— Dakota