Captain GetUp! Official!

Now Recruiting
by Gerard Benedet, Advance Aus Ltd Brisbane

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Hi twitter. While we're loving all the outrage at the moment, it's just not enough. Our donations are drying up, so we need you to get angrier. It can be about literally anything, we don't care, just be constantly offended and give us money. #auspol

https://t.co/uXjFj41Hy5

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

How dare you find your voice, Australia, you're supposed to be the silent majority! I'm woke, be woke like me. Join here

https://t.co/uXjFj41Hy5

#standwithizzy #auspol #Australia #ausunions

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Dear Compadres & Confidants, I'm recruiting, join me!
#Folau #GoFundMe #freespeech #auspol

Sign here
https://t.co/1E4Qe6KKoB

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

We used to be all about protecting our good friend Julian. It was one of our first big campaigns. But he doesn't bring in the donations anymore, so we gave up. Sorry comrade, that's just how we work. No money for us, no campaign for you.

https://t.co/UdXV1JlyDM #Assange #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Don't worry, it's fine everyone, I had a sit down with @DanielAndrewsMP and let him know the perfect solution. Just have to use sand that identifies as concrete. Sorted!

https://t.co/UdXV1JlyDM #auspol

[Financial Review @FinancialReview]

Victorian Premier @DanielAndrewsMP says the state doesn't have the capacity to build the East-West Link because it doesn't have enough concrete. #AFRInfra19 #infrastructure #auspol https://t.co/DhG84lyytA

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Oh yeah, we were meant to be doing something about this right? We even had a petition running at some point. Actually, we're still running it here: https://t.co/LoZU2LQe3B

It's always hard to keep track of what we're meant to be outraged about, and now Dad won't return my calls

[Bean @SomersetBean]

Melbourne police wondering how to arrest a billboard today https://t.co/zlTJCjTtdr #BringAssangeHome #FreeAssange #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

https://t.co/hVB2CYGsMo

https://t.co/gXl269FmNB

[💧simon holmes à court 🦋 @simonahac]

@DasherDavies @GetUp @CaptGetUp i’ve heard from folks on the ground that GetUp weren’t very helpful to zali’s campaign — wish they‘d stayed away. but the cap’n fail made up for any negativity towards GetUp!

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Campaign Trail Flashback! https://t.co/hVB2CYGsMo

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Our good friend John Setka has gotten himself into a spot of trouble recently. We may be all over the 'woke' issues, but we won't be touching this one with a ten foot pole. After all, he's not an evil 'hard right' LNP MP, so we don't care.

https://t.co/UdXV1JlyDM #auspol #setka

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

And we've got a great job for him at @GetUp ready to go. Just as long as he can keep his contacts and make sure those CFMEU donations keep flowing to us #auspol

[Katharine Murphy @murpharoo]

.@AlboMP says he'll move at the next national executive meeting for John Setka to be expelled from the ALP. "I don't want him in our party, it's that simple". #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

This has all been a silly misunderstanding, that donation was meant for us at @GetUp, that way we can run all the Labor campaigns without anyone getting their hands dirty #auspol

https://t.co/tStKBAzP3a

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

There's been a lot of talk about our good friend John Setka lately. Seeing as the CFMEU gave us over $1 million we reckon they can do whatever they want, they're good in our books. #auspol #setka

https://t.co/g0HpIdTT7k

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

@GemmaTognini Well, yeah, we have to keep it in the family #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Well we couldn't actually show Dad anything that might make him upset. And anything that went against our narrative definitely made Dad upset #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

@PrueBardsley Hey there PJ, what's wrong with having 2 Dads? That's not very tolerant of you

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Well we saw how good the #StopAdani convoy went, so Dad told QLD that they needed to bring over his mate for a speaking tour. He's also having a sleepover at GetUp HQ! Who cares if QLD farmers miss out anyway, we don't even count them as Australians #auspol #Getup #qldpol

[Keira Savage @KeiraSavage00]

Wealthy elite jets the globe stinking up the atmosphere, to lecture people on why they shouldn’t stink up the atmosphere.
Alan Jones: “When farmers can’t feed their cattle in Queensland, and $320,000 goes to waste on this shonk.”
https://t.co/CpgBEB7xyp

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Oooh crap. Can someone with a paper shredder please do something with any stuff I left there, you guys know what I mean. Particularly anything about 'stacking #QandA panels' #auspol

[Emma Alberici @albericie]

the @abcnews headquarters in Ultimo, Sydney is currently being raided by the Australian Federal Police over our news investigation "The Afghan Files" #auspol

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Special thanks to @AnnastaciaMP for agreeing to fork over taxpayer dollars to bring one of our good friends @algore to Australia. We would have pitched in more but we kind of spent all our money on the election... #auspol #GetUp

https://t.co/UdXV1JDa2m

[Captain GetUp! Official! @CaptGetUp]

Yeah, stop bagging us, my Dad's plans were much better, everybody knows you just have to increase taxes to grow the economy. #auspol

[Jim Chalmers MP @JEChalmers]

The Liberals pretend they’re good at managing the economy but the facts tell a very different story. They need to stop spending all their time bagging Labor and actually come up with a plan to grow the economy. My chat with @PatsKarvelas on @ABCNews #auspol #ausecon