Captain Smirk

A blue dot in the red sea that is Missouri

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

There’s more of that here... https://t.co/52QsjbK4yd

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

https://t.co/7amulIK2Ia

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

https://t.co/sXxuZMzvMW

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Let’s do this

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@cactusgloves00

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

I may be “sweats in bed at 9 on a Saturday night” years old, but at least I’m not “I’ve got to open my car door and spit out some I just coughed up while driving” years old.

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@EverEve11

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

My kids watch tv at the same volume that old people watch Fox News.

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Hey ref, John Stockton thinks those shorts are too fucking short.

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@cactusgloves00

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

There’s more of that here... https://t.co/52QsjbK4yd

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@BaitelShira Mine can’t even eat cereal quietly. It literally sounds like they’re slamming their spoons into the bowls.

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

There’s more of that here... https://t.co/52QsjbK4yd

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Underrated jam…

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Happy Valentine’s Day @PlayfulPyxie Love you.

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

https://t.co/kqTTMkuLMt

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

Here we go…

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@greeneyed_meg I like my hoodies. What would someone pay for them?

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@PlayfulPyxie

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

@PoggiAlison

[Captain Smirk @Capt__Smirk]

#NewProfilePic. Because I got dressed like a human today.