I already know the people who will subtweet, talk down, and or roll their eyes. But this isn’t for them. I work hard. When this opportunity came up, I was surprised, humbled, and it felt very surreal. So do with this what you want, but I just wanted to share something I'm excited about.
https://t.co/8VH1GoWwUP
Parents (Active Only):
It’s back to school time and Sneaker Illuminati is giving new kicks to start the year. Drop a photo of a box/tag with your child’s current shoe size and let us grab a crispy, White AF1 or Staple Samba for them! 2 winners will be selected. RT’s Appreciated!
An almost complete list of things @n8frost said he'd do before he let some New Balance touch his feet:
I would rather jump naked into a pool of man of war jellyfish than let that brand touch my feet
I would rather walk a floor of sea urchins bare foot than to let these abominations see my foot
I will box a hippo underwater before I let some New Balance’s touch my feet
I will eat an angry pufferfish before I ever let a New Balance touch my feet
Never in my life have they nor will New Balance be fire. I can’t wait for this wave to die
Brotha I will chew on a poison dart frog before I let New Balance touch my feet
I would quit at life. Like I’m done. Would still willingly get into an arm wrestling match against a family of Octopuses before I let NB touch my feet tho.
I will lay in a bed of scorpions before I let that brand touch my feet
I’ll play hide and seek with a Tiger before I let this happen.
I’ll pick up a nest of baby copperheads barehanded before I let that brand touch my feet
I will fight an orca on a surfboard before I let them shoes touch my feet
I’ll play tackle football against brown bears before I let these shits see my feet
I will play footsies with a giant squid underwater before I let some shit like this touch my feet
I’ll headbutt a rhinoceros before I let that brand touch my feet.
Kickbox a Komodo before I let New Balance touch my feet
I’ll walk barefoot through a trap house of dirty needles before I let that brand touch my feet.
I’ll run an Oklahoma drill with an African Rhino before I let that brand touch my feet.
I will play soccer barefoot on a gravel field before I let that brand touch my feet
I will willingly be fed to a starving pack of hyenas alive before I let this brand do this to me.
I will box a gang of gorillas equipped with nothing but Sock’em Boppers before I let NB touch my feet
I will box Tyson with no gloves before I let NB touch my feet
I will speed bag hornet nests before I let this brand touch my feet.
I will wade through brown recluse webs naked before I let y’all convince me that NB should be on my feet for any reason.
I will slap box a grizzly bear before I let them retirement community sneakers touch my feet. Idk what’s wrong with these folks.
I will garden on fireant hills barefoot before I let these on my feet
and also said:
New Balance looks like the physical embodiment of the sweet release of death in old age.