Peef Batty

Handicapable

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Assigned a piece of shit at birth

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Yo, I miss them Gamestop midnight drops

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Shit my dad says to me pt.9

Me: "If you could choose 5 liquids to come out of each finger, what would they be?"

Dad: " Water, acid, margarita, nitrous oxide, and pussy juice."

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Imagine gatekeeping a mental illness lol

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Idk who needs to hear this, but clean your microwave

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Shit my dad says to me pt.8

Me: " So I walked into a bodega yesterday...."

...Dad... cuts me off

Dad: " What like the toilet that shoots water up your butt? "

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

I bet that juice inside ice packs tastes delicious

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Air Quality Index : George Floydd

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

My name should be Zac cuz idk what the efron wrong with me

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Shit my dad says to me pt.7

"That's a nice pile of dirt"

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Ever since I overcame the fear of pissing in sinks... life has become manageable

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

@EricDilly Like rain on your wedding day?

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Yo what if jesus had power tools??

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

29 and I'm still not entirely sure what a IRA is

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

I give off a certain swimming in a septic tank vibe

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Micro dose pissing in sinks

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

If I eat a Costco hot dog at 11:57 i should throw it up as the ball drops

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

All I want for Christmas is for someone to pay my co-pays

[FLESH COLLECTOR @YourRiverGuide]

When she thinks you’re out cheating but you’re actually just looking for cats in a game

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Me to bartender, " What's the shittest beer you have on tap?"

Bartender, proceeds to say my favorite beer

[Peef Batty @Captain_crestor]

Medicinal Busch Light