Jordan Gagner

Owner of the 8th sphere of Ethusnial, Pickle Snickers Fan, Most Hated Man In Papa New Guinea, Faster than Fast Eddie, Time Lord, Hood Billionaire.

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

Welp, like I said, we made it through today! Unfortunately, shortly the earth will begin to vent atmosphere, and the sun will begin to cool down over a 24hr period until life is no longer tenable on the planet.
Thanks for playing the deluxe edition of Life: Earth.

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

I'm not sure I know the "peasants war" in the same context you do. I'd guess there are quite a few commoner uprisings that could fit that description. I'd guess you're referring to the echlesiarchy seiging and burning Muenster?
I'm grateful for the huge capacity of critical thinking that followed, but I do struggle with the fracturing of values that I think followed that event.
I might be wrong, but I think that the parasitic drivil of our time wouldn't exist if the puritan iteration of catholicism was allowed to exist.
I hope that makes sense. If not, maybe that can something you cover in the next installment of citizen. I would appreciate it

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@wakazhi @MintBlitz This.
I know you're a real one brother 👊

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

So a dear friend of mine is doing seemingly boring, but actually really cool and important work.

Read about It hear: https://t.co/LU7jw8y9Sg

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@ColbyCovMMA @DustinPoirier Do better man.
You know Dustin is a good guy. You're a good guy too, you don't need to stoop to these levels

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@SlavicSuccess @cartierfamilyZ @DovySimuMMA Fuck you.
Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and stay off the internet. Racist compilations of used shit tickets shouldn't get access to public interactions.

[Joey CoCo Diaz @madflavor]

Thank God for giving you another day to be a Badmotherfucker!

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: The Texas televangelist who claimed God is using the Iran War to begin the Biblical Apocalypse and Rapture up all the Christians to Heaven on Trump's birthday this June 14th because Trump is the "2nd Messiah" just got arrested for cooking meth in his church basement.

[Ancient History Hub @AncientHistorry]

In 458 BC, Rome was on the brink of collapse.

An invading army had trapped the Roman consul and his legion in a mountain pass. Panic spread through the city. The Senate did the only thing they could think of:

They sent messengers to find a 60-year-old farmer plowing his field.

His name was Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. He had once been a senator, then lost his fortune paying his son's bail. Now he worked his own four-acre plot just to feed his family.

When the Senate's envoys arrived, they found him sweating behind a plow. They asked him to put on his toga so they could deliver an official message.

The message: Rome was making him dictator. Absolute power. Total command of the army. No checks. No oversight. No term limit.

He accepted.

Within 16 days, Cincinnatus had raised an army, marched out, surrounded the enemy, and forced their surrender. The republic was saved.

He had legal authority to rule for six months. He could have stayed. He could have expanded his power. He could have done what every other ruler in human history did when handed unlimited control.

Instead, he resigned on day 16.

He took off the toga, walked back to his farm, and finished plowing the field he'd left half-done.

Twenty years later, when Rome faced another crisis, they called him back. He was 80 years old. He took command, crushed the conspiracy, and resigned again, this time after just 21 days.

He died poor. On his farm.

2,200 years later, when George Washington was offered a kingship after winning the American Revolution, he refused and went home to Mount Vernon. The reason he was hailed as "the American Cincinnatus" is because Europeans literally could not believe a man who had won would willingly give up power.

King George III, on hearing Washington would resign rather than rule, said: "If he does that, he will be the greatest man in the world."

The lesson isn't that Cincinnatus was humble.

The lesson is that for most of human history, the people most qualified to lead were the ones who didn't want to. And the moment a society starts rewarding those who chase power instead of those who flee from it is the moment the republic begins to die.

Cincinnati, Ohio is named after him.

Most people who live there have no idea why.

[Brian Allen @allenanalysis]

🇺🇸BREAKING: Someone placed a $920 million crude oil short at 3:40 AM.

70 minutes later Axios reported the US and Iran were close to a deal.

Oil dropped 12%.

The trade made $125 million in profit.

Minutes after that Iran launched the “Persian Gulf Strait Authority” and oil surged 8%.

$760 million placed before Trump’s last announcement.

$920 million placed before this one.

Every major announcement in this war has been front-run by someone who knew it was coming.

What kind of war is this?

This is more like a trading desk with an army.

Never stop connecting the dots.

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@Kaffe_Takk @seattletimes @thepwhlofficial Lol, came here just to say this. 🤙🤞

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

This was such a fantastic display of great Hockey. Anyone not watching the PWHL is missing out on such a great display of sports. Aerin is showcasing a skillset that can turn a sport into a league.

[PWHL @thepwhlofficial]

SHE DOES IT AGAIN 🔥

Aerin Frankel posts her sixth shutout of the season as @PWHL_Boston secures a 2–0 win over Vancouver to sit solo at first place in the PWHL!

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

The 4th frame might be one if the best goals I've ever seen in hockey. O'Donohoe deserves all of the kudos!

[PWHL @thepwhlofficial]

THE TEMP IS DROPPING IN MINNESOTA 🥶

@PWHL_Minnesota scored four unanswered goals in the first to take the lead over the Charge, only the second time in history a team has scored four in the first frame!

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@PWHL__Seattle @usahockey @togethxr @TeamUSA @thepwhlofficial @NWSL @HilaryKnight @carpy05 @Cayla_barnes27 We'll be seeing you this Friday! Yall rule!
Thanks for being stunning representations of the USA, woman's sports and Washington state.

[Dan Carlin @dccommonsense]

I'm not much of an advice giver,but if you want to develop an ability that will give you an advantage in the future develop your contemplation skills. Learn to be alone and just THINK. Be bored. Make your brain do things it need not do when you feed it stimulation constantly.

[HELLDIVERS™ 2 @helldivers2]

Helldivers, we stand on the precipice of Cyberstan, and at last, our enemy stands revealed.

Study them closely. Steel yourselves for battle.

Let's end this Machinery of Oppression once and for all.

[Jordan Gagner @CaptianFancy]

@StJamesStJames Hardcore DB here, my takeaway was that his performance showed the 2nd class citizen status that Puerto Rico gets. It's an embarrassing stain on our country how fucked up the status quo is there. They're a part of the united states, Puerto Ricans are US citizens. Right?

[Ross Patterson @StJamesStJames]

What was the point of this Bad Bunny shit? Genuinely asking. A very small percent of the population speaks Spanish here. That halftime show was as awful as this game🤦‍♂️

[Christian Collins @CollinsforTX]

Democrats claim voter ID hinders participation in elections.

Here's Joe Biden showing his ID to vote in 2022.

If Sleepy Joe can show his ID to vote, any American can.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Pharaohs were buried with their arms across their chest because of the ancient belief that there would be countless water slides in the after life.