Ash Houghton

Making People Laugh and Women Smile Since 1986

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Bitch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Bitch, don't text me while I'm texting you, now I have to change my text.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Ugly bitches favorite line: "I'm far from ugly..." I be like naw bitch, you closer than you think!

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Why Black People Think You'll Remember A Person If They Say A Name Twice? 0_o "You Remember Ashley?" "Ashley Who?" !!! Ashley Ashley?

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

"HELL YEAH! We have a substitute teacher!!!" "Shut the fuck up and sit down!" "Oh shit... -___-"

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

You girls be 13 talking about "I hate sleeping alone" .. Well bitch you better buy a damn teddy bear.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

There's a serial killer in our house! Normal people: "CALL THE POLICE, LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" - In movies: "Lets go find him" -___-

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Too many people getting comfortable saying the word "nigga"

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Only black people act like "dark skin" & "light skin" are two different races..

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Ghetto word of the day: Hotel. My momma said she aint gonna tell Shaqueta nothing else cuz dat hotel everthang she know.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Now a days, hoes be twerkin for new weave.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Hoes always sayin "I love you" after a week of dating. Bitch please

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Females will stop speakin 2 their friends over the littlest things but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

You a hoe, yo aint got no say, have a seat --> _/

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Hoes be tryna shave their head to look like Amber Rose, but end up lookin' like Caillou..

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

I'm not saying she's fat...... But if you asked me to name my 5 fattest friends.... She would be 3 of them.

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

I hate when a girl can't take a compliment: "You're so pretty" "No I'm not, I'm ugly" "WELL SHIT, YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN.....

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

#HowToMakeMeMad Look cute in your pictures and ugly in person. Bitches be lookin like Beyonce online and Chief Keef in person..

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

i hate when people ask me: what happened to the sweet old you? well, bitches like you killed it

[Ash Houghton @Cardoemym]

Hoes be blamin' hoes for bein' hoes