There's no #BPDChat today. (I'm dealing with work and errands). As I announced previously, #BPDChat will be ending soon (after many years of weekly chats). I'll try to announce a "last chat" date in the next week. (It will probably be at the end of June or start of July). 1/2
New episode! I talk with @LDamour about her new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Some highlights:
1. Distress is not mental illness
2. Mental health is having feelings that match the moment and process feelings in adaptive ways.
More gems here:
https://t.co/PxtYEPsZoa
@xmdmazingx Thanks for talking about judgments and self-criticism. I thought it was a really good discussion. I'd be interested if you have any other thoughts on the subject. I'm having to get off the chat for now, but I hope you'll be back next week to talk more. Have a good week. #BPDChat
Icebreaker: 'What coping skill(s) do you wish you had?' (These can be DBT skills or other skills you wish you had... Or maybe...'What challenge or obstacle do you wish you knew how to cope with?') #BPDChat
@xmdmazingx I think you're right about accurately (and assertively) communicating with others - checking the facts first often helps. (If it can lessen the rumination that's even better). #BPDChat
@xmdmazingx These are really helpful skills. Sometimes people benefit from counting the number of judgments they make (it's often a lot). Also, noticing judgments & turning them into nonjudgmental descriptions ("just the facts") can really help lessen judgments & lower emotions. #BPDChat
@CarlDunnJr Sorry I missed this one. It'd be nice to have more tools to lessen judgement, yes. I find the combo of other DBT skills helps a bit. When I communicate assertively, others are less likely to think I'm reactive. Learning to tolerate distress showed me I don't always have to act +
@xmdmazingx Wow. I hope someone reads this & benefits from it - it's very true. Finding meaning in life (and reasons for living) helped me overcome depression. We don't emphasize enough how healthy it is to have things we believe in and are passionate about doing. #BPDChat
@CarlDunnJr Therapy, lots of therapy 😅
Finding things I want to live/be better for helped me take my healing journey more seriously, being persistent with my DBT group and meetings and being 100% honest in therapy. #BPDChat
@xmdmazingx@GoonerKJP This makes a lot of sense. Once one is emotionally escalated I think our ability to be mindful goes way down. I do think mindfulness can help before a crisis, if you can notice the situation (escalating emotions, for instance) and do something different. #BPDChat
@GoonerKJP@CarlDunnJr Hi @GoonerKJP! I find that mindfulness skills work better for me when emotions aren't running high, like daily smaller inconveniences, as opposed to the ice water that tends to be more helpful when you need to prevent an active crisis.
@xmdmazingx You said it very well - I think a lot of people internalize other people's opinions and criticism. What helped you to unlearn that? #BPDChat
@CarlDunnJr Oh, it was! I internalised everything, if so many people were saying I was *whatever* I must really be it. It took me years to unlearn all that. #BPDChat
@GoonerKJP I'm sorry to hear you've been through all that. Please take care of yourself. I'd be glad to talk to you another time about mindfulness and/or ways to bring emotions down (or whatever you'd be interested in talking about). Thanks for coming on the chat - I hope you get some rest.
I'm curious what topic anyone would especially like to talk about today? (We've had two mentioned already: Mindfulness and lessening self-judgments...). #BPDChat
@CarlDunnJr I don't remember anyone being overtly critical of me, at least not until I was a teen and suddenly I was "too much" and "acting crazy" for expressing what I was feeling (although I wasn't as effective and assertive then as I am now). #BPDChat