Carley Uthe

I cry a lot but I am so productive ✨

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

all I'm saying is that dogs can sense good character and all dogs like me sooooo

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

wtf is this app anymore

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

today one of my kids was CRUSHING IT with her sight words, and she was like “you know how I know all those? Because of you and books” GIRL STOP IT RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭😭

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

I cannot believe so much of my life is spent on vacuum maintenance

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

I got my dog to the tile floor before she threw up, so it’s going to be a good day

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@CaitlinHillside Well of course! I had a few but not all

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@CaitlinHillside Meaning for my dresses

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@CaitlinHillside Mad I didn’t take more pictures for this reason

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

I just want to let the cook at that San Francisco airport restaurant know that, 20 years later, I still think about his mac and cheese to this day

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

“What do you teach?”
“Special ed”
“Oh!! My kid has *this* disability” - literally everyone
Like oh, cool cool

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

I have started saying “woohoo” to any mildly positive news, someone please punch me

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@eselizabeth_ Oh you right, I see now

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@eselizabeth_ I see no demon

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@eselizabeth_ L-i-z yay I win

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

@eselizabeth_

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

drinking my coffee while playing my little NYT games is just the best part of days off 🥰

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

my favorite thing about being an adult is that I can opt to remove meat from any pasta recipe so I can purely eat cheese, noodles, and sauce

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

the bitch that’s a ~teacher~ no less

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

not gonna be able to sleep tonight because there’s going to be a cop going home to tell his family all about the bitch that didn’t stop for the school bus stop sign

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

Wore my 1989 (TV) crew neck to school today. 3rd grader: “1989!? That’s like when dinosaurs were alive”

[Carley Uthe @Carl_1096]

happy new year, gonna start posting here again, you’re welcome