Jesus Zombie Christ

I'm Jesus, Son of god - Carpenter turned zombie. Any similarities to other fictional characters is purely coincidental.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@realDonaldTrump @POTUS #sendanauberginetotrump #thelasteggplant
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[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Wears off after 2 or 3 days https://t.co/cpCCFsSQxa

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@mariapantellis Why do you say legit in every tweet? Does not saying legit make it less true? Bloody Greeks.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@abeikuyamoah @john_bokma @DailyVotingPoll Imaginary beings have short memories.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@abeikuyamoah @john_bokma @DailyVotingPoll Quite an ironic reply after reading your tweets.

[Trillian @wombleweb]

#religion #cosmicwizards #science #atheist

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@mariapantellis $16 per month? Does this include fanny shots or should I stick to wanking over page 3?

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@PilotmanWholism @robga_ @mariapantellis Don't worry lads there's plenty more slags on Twitter. You should see her pics before Photoshop belly looks like a fucking road map. 👎

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@abeikuyamoah @john_bokma @DailyVotingPoll Spoken like a truly uneducated individual

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

And in other news, the only child ever to have cancer has died.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@ivanfandino there is no room up here for you. You horrible cunt.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

@PTW4Christ keep up the good work guys.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

I hate it when I have to cure cancer... #jesussaves #Jesus #WWJD #FSM #atheism #religion #atheist #cancer #god #GodIsGood #pray #prayer

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Dear cunts, like a proper arsehole my dad said I have to give up swearing for #lent the fucker. #PancakeDay

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

And on the 8th day the Lord said "Oh bollocks I've left too much loose skin on their genitals we need to trim them a bit."

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Sod it.... Happy Birthday to all deities whose birthday it is today I don't have time to tweet them all.

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Happy Birthday Tammuz

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Happy Birthday Dionysus

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Happy Birthday Adonis

[Jesus Zombie Christ @CarpenterZombie]

Happy Birthday Mithra