The Carpeted Man

By rubbing my carpeted feet over any surface, I can create a tremendous charge of static electricity.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@GarethMyton "Keep politics out of it" isn't a request for neutrality, it's an attempt to silence people. You simply cannot have an adult conversation about people going hungry and efforts to prevent it without discussing economics, employment, local govt, national govt. All is politics.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Iromg So what?

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Iromg You've some nerve calling anyone a plank, you ignorant fuck.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Nigel_Farage I'd rather watch myself being eaten by dogs.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@camoPirate_xXx @donwinslow What gives the idea it ever started?

Just because Trump claims something has been happening doesn't mean it ever happened. On the contrary, it often means it didn't.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@RhonddaBryant And your job is to reverse the problem Chris. From where we're sitting the government's 8 month record looks like an austerity project. I wish it were otherwise.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@TimesRadio @StigAbell @KateEMcCann Who gives a monkey's bollocks what this mad old sausage thinks about anything? Why are you even interviewing him?

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@traceylyno @StephenKing Imagine that. 76 million utter dickheads.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@TiceRichard They're not going to stand aside. And thank god for that, you goose stepping rat bastard.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@triffic_stuff_ @DeborahMeaden "Don't listen to Tim Snyder, Professor of History at Yale, who specialises in Central European and Russian politics. Listen to me, J Stewart, boot licking cunt."

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Heddoman1 @HoggcastM @BenInRushcliffe @SurLiott9 @realSi_jeff Christ. Read that rambling gibberish back to yourself. You fucking dopey, paranoid clown.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@4CoughBeach @HoggcastM @BenInRushcliffe @SurLiott9 @realSi_jeff Okay mate 👍

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@HoggcastM @BenInRushcliffe @SurLiott9 @realSi_jeff That's absolutely fine, I wouldn't want to be liked by any individual or group of people who structure their sentences so poorly.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@kelvmackenzie "I was on a train and other people were on the train, but I was the only cunt, and it frightened me."

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@laverty_bryan @mehdirhasan Also Farage gets treated like he's a celeb on a chat show couch, not a politician to be held to account.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@RoryStewartUK The only people I've ever met who obsess about IQ have been smug libertarian white men, who treat it as the ultimate measure of a human's value. Which is pretty sinister. Someone could have an IQ of 200 and still be an irredeemable f**king prick.

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Kalimeralynn @Nigel_Farage @TomSyvret I promise I will not let that happen 😄

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Kalimeralynn @Nigel_Farage @TomSyvret https://t.co/EHf5Stok1a

Cheap Trick preempted this pervasive evil back in 1979, with this absolute banger 🚔

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@Kalimeralynn @Nigel_Farage @TomSyvret I see. The waaaalls have eeeears 👀

[The Carpeted Man @CarpetedMan]

@TomSyvret Haha. What?!