carrison fjord

🌚

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

Flubber was actually the name of the scientist not the monster.

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

wife [sees me logging into X]: what the hell is that?

me [too tired to explain all of the elon / twitter lore]: it's porn

[༻𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐡༺ @mishricci]

mojo dojo casa house

[re: emma @evemmore]

abba music: 🪩 💃 🕺 🕺 💃 🪩
abba lyrics: I hate my job. I am getting divorced. I am so tired all the time. the Spanish civil war

[🧸🪐 @miiadolan]

there’s something so alyssa edwards ab this delivery…

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

My favorite patriotic song is Independence Day by Martina McBride because it’s about a woman killing her POS, abusive husband in a fire

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

@_scottcavanaugh Damn you’re so right

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

If I see one more dude in public with a wedding ring on I’m gonna start swinging

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

America was such bitch on Friday and now expects us to attend her birthday party on Tuesday? I don't think so, sweetie.

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

Starting to think my family is cursed by a “Madame Zeroni” that I need to carry up a mountain somewhere

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

Stand back I’m about to be radicalized

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

One thing about me- I’M NOT FUCKING PAYING!

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

Once again I am voting pink in a yellow state!

[Emmet Sandberg @SandbergEmmet]

I humbly present my Barbie-Oppenheimer 2024 electoral map

[Sam Saulsbury @SamuelSaulsbury]

Yeah, I can grab ice on the way. Do you mind if I bring my mysterious boyfriend Pinkus

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

had 2 glasses of wine about to text him “can I ask you something” and then turn my phone off til tomorrow

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

@tomfoolery_band Wow you’ve officially lived long enough to see yourself become the villain

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

Cig summer!!

[mitch 🇵🇸 @czarmitch]

this is that dog i got in me:

[carrison fjord @CarrisonFjord]

I’m 💀💀💀💀