Carson Ross

crazy little guy

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

That new Odyssey movie has that guy from Fortnite? Ok, maybe we’ve gotten a little too woke.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

People have called my plan to cover the planet in peanut oil foolish, but this is ok?

[World of Statistics @stats_feed]

🥜 Peanut allergies plummet by 77% if they're added to babies' diets at 4-6 months of age.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Getting a Ph.D acceptance letter was devious work on Aprils Fools.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

The weather is in the negatives? Not in my positive mindset.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Going to start going to a pinball bar to pick up women. They are going to see my 31,000,000 high score in Godzilla pinball and fall in love with me.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Explain to me in Fortnite terms.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

No 💕

[NBC DFW @NBCDFW]

BREAKING: ERCOT Asking Texans to Conserve Power on Monday | https://t.co/wae2eUpHus

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

@DawnStar007a The soundtrack is stacked. All hits

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Minion’s: Rise of Gru is about to slaughter my Spotify wrapped.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

@Komaniecki_R D&d players would call that multi-classing.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

I will direct a superhero movie for the Mormon church called “Mormonus”

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

People like ooooo my poor whittle old college town is burwning to the gwound 🥺 like shut your mouth Mandy you have a yacht.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

I just want there to be older and older presidents until we get to the point where some old guy dies in office when he’s 120.

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

“Aha that friend group was toxic…”

My brother in Christ you were the toxic one

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

@aubryn123 @mccracken_theo I got ratioed by Theo. 😔

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Morbius is the Rite of Spring for our generation

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

I don’t usually recommend things on my Twitter. But if you have like an hour I’d highly recommend. This is a beautiful statement of how we remember people once they are gone.

[Shonen Jump @shonenjump]

Goodbye, Eri: A special 200-page one-shot by Tatsuki Fujimoto, the creator of Chainsaw Man! Read it FREE from the official source! https://t.co/kgOKTwXjBq

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

In life your either the gorilla in a documentary or the rival of that said gorilla. And fellas, I’m about to be that rival gorilla 🙃

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

I’m now a full on tin-foil hat conspiracy theorist. I was thinking to myself if they made a little thing to get earwax out of AirPods and my Instagram literally recommended me a product that gets earwax out of AirPods 👂🕯

[Carson Ross @CarsonRossMan]

Coke this coke that. When will I see an Airport sponsored by the great American beverage, MUG rootbear.