CarterEngel

I used to have 5th hour study hall

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Why don’t comedians tell jokes about Labor Day?

They don’t work.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Why is Friday a happy day?

Because the next day is a sadder day

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Indepen-dance.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Why are people always tired on Earth Day?
Because they just finished a March.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Why is Easter breakfast so fun? Everyone's cracking yolks.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

What did the man say to his banker on February 14?

You’ve caught my interest

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

What do you tell someone you didn't see on New Year's Eve?
I haven't seen you for a year?

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

How does a turkey travel?
By gravy boat.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

It’s illegal to laugh out loud in Hawaii.
You have to keep it to a low ha.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

What type of bear is toothless?
A gummy bear.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

I saw someone dragging a clam on a leash this morning.
It must be hard to walk with a pulled mussel.

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But Catscan

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot!

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

A friend was having a bonfire night party, so I sprayed it with a fire extinguisher.
He was de-lighted!!!!!

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket!

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

Where do you find the chattiest track athletes?
At discus!

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know Y

[CarterEngel @CarterSauce11]

You know what’s odd?
Every other number!