Cartoria

Audacious, Writer, Remote worker, Real life stories, gist and a little bit of spice

[Cartoria @Cartoria_]

I personally find men who think women in their 30's lived a terrible life because they didn't get married at 20 dumb and local

[Ossai of Enugu @ossaivictor1_]

Only God knows the kind of life they lived in their 20s now someone out there wants to use me as a retirement plan

Fine sweet boy like me, wey sabi hustle

[LadyB 💗 @thereal_beebee]

He was not lazy but he gave up 😭

[chee🫦som @mercy_chis88412]

Who want to eat 🫠
Cooked this for dinner
Money no dey for meat
I run it like that

[Cartoria @Cartoria_]

@TheLowkeyMummy Pick me's will never understand

[Kemi🤎 @TheLowkeyMummy]

If your husband comes back home in the middle of the night, where ever it is he might be coming from.

He enters the house and wakes you up to come make food for him.

If you stand up to attend to him, you're a fool.

That's a man with 2 legs and hands.

If he's hungry he knows where the kitchen is.

[Gucciboy @Gucciboyf3]

Make person buy me dinner 😭🙏

[Gucciboy @Gucciboyf3]

I remember a day Access Bank debïted one man that was in front of me 60,000 twice without dispensing the cash. The man grabbëd me and shoutëd: “You are not going anywhere oo!” Because you are my only witness 😳🙆😂😂😂

[Mr Bachelor @Themrbachelor]

My guy just told me the funniest shit I've ever heard.

He send dick to a girl Via WhatsApp and she ask him why his dick no get vein.

[DEE ❤ @Olami_deeEbony]

Helen, alleged baby mama of Chief Priest, whom she calls Pascal, says she’s tired of lying to her son whenever he asks about his dad. She has now decided to bring the boy back to Nigeria to meet his father. 🤭

Problem go too choke sha! 😂

[Mr Bachelor @Themrbachelor]

Living with a cultist or moving with one is one of the fastest way to die.

I went to visit a friend at home during my ND days at ilaro, I got to his place in the afternoon and was there till night, around 9pm or 9:30pm, he told me he wants to get something at oríta.

I was sleeping when some guys bursted into his apartment and started shouting "light am" "light am"

I didn't know when I shouted from sleep no light am o , na me o , while crying seriously, my heart was beating so fast that it looked like it wants to fell of... One of them were like light am sẹh, then they came closer, local pistol plus machete with red clothes around it......

[DEE ❤ @Olami_deeEbony]

During my first year in university, a Year One student took his new Infinix Note 2 to night class. Some cult boys saw the phone and told him to hand it over. He refused and started struggling with them over the phone.

They stabbed him with a knife, took the phone and ran away. Before people could get help, he bled to death.

The news got to his mother the next day. When she came to the school, the only thing she kept screaming was, “Daniel, you should have given them the phone. Mummy would have bought you another one.”

Apparently, Daniel was his parents’ only child.

My university was a very rough place. I still wish he had just given them the phone and walked away. He would have still been alive today. 🤦🏾‍♀️🥹

[ms. @ms__faee]

If women decides to start using men for r!tual through sex, are you safe? Hand suppose meet sugar daddies and cheaters!!

[Ade omo Ade 👑 01 @educatedtug01]

You can’t be this reckless and expect to go scot free.

[Rossie🦋💫 @big_temss_]

What lie has a Nigerian man/woman told you that’s so smooth you almost want to clap for them?

[VHEJOE 🀄 @BIGVHEJOE]

BREAKING: Kolu was spotted eating in the street of ibadan 💔😭

[VHEJOE 🀄 @BIGVHEJOE]

Skit no dey pay you again?😂😂

[VHEJOE 🀄 @BIGVHEJOE]

Three wise men🙂‍↕️

[Nwanyi Aguleri🌹 @gifylicious]

Me leave which food ? Especially when it pounded yam and ofe nsala with plenty fish and other.

I will sit down there and finish and good and even eat the ones others left behind o . When I am full then we can understand the mood o 😁

[Nwanyi Aguleri🌹 @gifylicious]

Never beg anyone for Love , if they can't cherish you enough to choose you , it means you were never meant for them .

You are to valuable to be treated like an option.🙏❤️

[Nwanyi Aguleri🌹 @gifylicious]

You shall not Labour for another to eat.
You shall make it in this life.
Nothing shall fail in your hands . Amen 🙏

[DEMAN005 @deman_005]

Wait oh!!! Is it only me that love my stew prepared with red oil ???