cassidy

ex-baby, future felon, ''melt'' sometimes. they/she

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

"Cassidy the girl I'm trying to smash is telling me about the moon & how she's only compatible w/ scorpions. What The Fuck Is She Talking About?"

IS SHE A CANCER? LEAVE HER, KING.

WATCH MY VIDEO INSTEAD: ASTROLOGY FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE MISERABLE & ALSO GAY

https://t.co/AiCRvr82OD

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

@_KnifeCrow It's got "hell" in it, think again

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

Ethical nonmonogamy and nonviolent communication are a specific kind of sinister terminology. If you have to specify that you fuck regular and talk normal I'm going to st*b you through the heart because you sound like a vampire.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

@MeowtroidPrime Absolutely lmaooo

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

What a fucking power move. Good Lord.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

Went out with a girl and asked her what her red flags are and she kissed me and said "you'll have to wait and see."

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

@PAMaster2 Me, blinded by tears, through gritted teeth: s-so long g;ay bowserr

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

Going out with someone who's a solid foot shorter than me and I'm worried what if that's too much. What if I take them home and throw them onto my bed and they bounce and slam into the wall. I'm giving myself real anxiety thinking about this

[Ryan Cage @Ryan__Cage]

@CassClaymore Good to know someone is out there, putting in the hard yards, studying their migratory habits, I guess. Saw a doc the other day about their diminishing habitats. Sad stuff.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

overheard a guy say "citys gonna be filthy with milfs tomorrow" hell yeah brother

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

i'm back on mastodon. you can follow me there.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

Your boss is gonna close this place down in 6 months & theyre gonna write about it in the WaPo claiming it was bc you couldnt stop me from stealing $740 in candy bars over the course of 8 months. Theyre gonna make me sound like im crustpunk ISIS & youre a marine in over his head.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

I love getting caught shoplifting. I need this candy more than your gay little store.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

woke up to good morning texts from three different people today. i've never felt like such a whore in my life

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

Went on a date with a lesbian and told her "just to be clear, you know I'm a guy, right?" and she went "Me too." This is what solidarity looks like.

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

i called world war 1 white on white crime and everybody got mad at me

[scorpy @socpens]

never wearing overalls on stream again

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

It's Friday. Avoid the bookings beloved

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

@carabinerdyke Thanks homie

[cassidy @CassClaymore]

getting run over by a police cruiser and gesturing to my mutual aid homies and they all come over and throw expired bread on me like i'm a bunch of ducks