Castle Simpher

This account is dedicated to Cassie Simpher and all of her....Cassie-isms

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"I can't read from that far away."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Tell us a fun story. Something about Dwight."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"ARE YOU EVEN IN KAPPA? we taught you better than that."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Im talking normal because I can hear myself!"

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"I'm not good with adjectives."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"MY BIKINI ITCHES A LITTLE BIT."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Sassy bitch. I WILL FUCK HER UP."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"I was putting lotion on my legs at 1:45."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"A meal is NOT included on the catamaran."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Do you guys remember how red my knees get when I drink vodka?! I've told you a hundred times."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Can you ever feel your forehead when you're drunk?"

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Yes. I'm only wearing one band because I only have one long sleeve."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Your prime rib tastes like meatloaf."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"So this kid, he would ice his sores"

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"She skimped out on the meat."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"I have to REALLY lean in here."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"The coffee shop?! You're going to the coffee shop?!"

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"It's good but I know this taste goes on my legs" re: vanilla whisky in a lotion bottle.

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"Bless. I said a prayer earlier."

[Castle Simpher @CassleSimpher]

"He's the comedian? Oh thank god."