Castiel Allen

I enjoy things

[Weed Porn @WeedPorns]

This always does the trick

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[Castiel Allen @CastielAllen]

@cloud9juice I would love to be service you

[MileyCyrus PRESS @CyrusPRESS]

how do you explain her ability to take the most pop song ever created on Earth, transform it into rock, and still keep it wonderfully good?

https://t.co/pqipu763PM

[Āro @Aroshowsup]

Scary Movie 6 trailer - leaked

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

they changed history here i’m sorry😭

[HustleBitch @HustleBitch_]

🚨 THIS UBER RIDE IS PURE CHAOS - AND IT ENDS IN THE MOST UNEXPECTED FRIENDSHIP

She bursts out with random screams, wild noises, and snorts pointed RIGHT at him and this man jumps EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

She says, “I have Tourette’s…”
And he hits her with the greatest misunderstanding ever:

“T-Rex??”

Then he pulls out his phone IMMEDIATELY:
“I need to ask Google how do I help T-Rex.”

Between outbursts she nervously asks:
“Are we in the hood?”

He goes:
“Yeah… but they’ll run from YOU.”
Protecting her like a champ.

She panics again:
“You won’t let nothing happen to me, right?”

He locks in:
“I promise… not on my watch. Not on duty. NOT on duty.”

She melts:
“You’re so nice… you got my back?”

Him:
“Yeah, I got your back.”

Then the comedy peaks.
He goes:
“Some bitches grow up sassy… bunch of bitches.”

And she suddenly fires back mid-tic:
“Well YOU’RE not a bitch… I think you’re awesome.”

She asks about his tattoos and he turns his whole neck like he’s posing for a mugshot.

She screams, snorts, jumps.
He screams, jumps, laughs... and somehow they trauma-bond into best friends in minutes.

Then he randomly drops:
“I’m a rapper.”
“What’s your name?”
“CEO Dee.”

Two strangers thrown into chaos… and it becomes the funniest, most wholesome friendship the internet has ever seen.

Which moment caught YOU completely off guard?

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Vine is being rebooted under the name diVine, with funding from Twitter’s former CEO Jack Dorsey.

The app plans to feature more than 10,000 previously archived Vines and does not allow AI-generated content.

(https://t.co/sdqfKoknXx)

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Bretman Rock and Cleo as Glinda and Elphaba for Halloween.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Charli xcx stuns in new photo.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Border Patrol agents shot a family’s dog in Texas after they went inside their home to look for migrants, @KFOX14 reports.

The dog passed away.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Candace Owens has been denied entry to Australia over concerns she could “incite discord” in the community.

[Castiel Allen @CastielAllen]

@pig_pharma

[Offseason Mode @Ferd_Turgeson]

Dude looks pretty good for 33yrs old

[santaspears @santaspearsy2k]

The shade @billboard 😭 Oh Britney, the organic Legend that u are 👸🏼

[Castiel Allen @CastielAllen]

@bigdickbookclub Yes. I have a bidet and I’m able to flex my sphincter allowing to douche without the need for any other tools