Cat Says

Am cat. With clever beans.

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

The humans have brought out rubber mats. And are contorting on them. They seem to be in pain. Let me show them how it’s done

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

I… I need to knock over this sorcery

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

Always take screaming potato

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

The human seems stressed. I wonder if she’s tried knocking shit off the table?

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@KuuArubin0 WHAAT

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@catswithaura

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@catswithaura Ohhh no no leave meow alone!

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@catsnkittys

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

All you needed to do, was hold still. But noooooo. Don’t blame me for shredding your nose instead of the tissue you’ve stuck up there to collect your leaky juices, ungrateful sick human.

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

When ungrateful human tries to pet me.

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

Sick human is now plugging up her leaky nose holes with wads of tissue. The wads look too big. Let me help shred them down to size. Just hold still, sick human.

#helpfulcat

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

The sick human is risen! Violently, might I add. I had to dig my claws in to avoid rolling off her face. Tenacity is my name. Healing is my game.

#cathealer #cattherapy

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

The sick human appears to rouse under the comforting weight of my chonky body. She is flailing her arms in gratitude. There, there now. It will all get better soon.

#chonkycat

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

When god gives you a chonky body, use it for the greatest good. I have spread my chonk over the sick human’s leaky nose holes. I am a martyr.

#chonkycat #catdoctor

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

Sick human is still leaking horribly through her nose holes. The problem, it seems, is the existence of nose holes. The solution, therefore, is to plug up said nose holes. If it is to be, it is up to me.

#catsays

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

GASP. The little meerkat is real!

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@PunchingCat Oh the treachery of smooth floors

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

@WholesomeMeme I am trying to read this cat’s newspaper while in the litter tray

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

Kiss me, human bean

[Cat Says @CatCleverBeans]

Wake up with the right amount of yass. Or sass.