A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale )

A.Z Fell & Co. Bookshop co-owner 📚
Occasional performer of the arts of prestidigitation 🎩
Passionate tea drinker 🫖
Lover of the fine arts 🎨
Roleplay account

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

Greetings and gratitude for choosing A.Z. Fell & Co Soho booksellers.
Regrettably, I find myself away from my desk and its comforting clutter.
If you would be so kind as to leave your musings after the ethereal tone, my assistant shall endeavor to return your missive promptly.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE "Well...i...uh..." The angel stumbled over his words, his eyes downcast again.

"You....didn't kiss back...so..."the words come out hesitant and unsure, nothing like the Archangel Aziraphale was before he left earth.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE
"I...can explain..."

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE times in my head but now that you're here before me, I keep on stumbling over and doing the wrong things, it feels like..."

His fingers smooth out the fabric over and over again, the furrow in his brows only deepening.

"Loving someone is terribly complicated..."

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE to the creases, as if smoothing them out would somehow also smoothe things out between them.

"I just don't really know what to do," the words spill from his lips as his eyes remain fixated on the fabric of Ferals jacket like it's a saving grace.

"I had rehearsed this so many //

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE Cheeks red and hands trembling.

He didn't want to push too much. Didn't want to throw himself at a man who could just as easily pull away and tell him to go. He was careful, barely hanging on the edges of control and restraint.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE He steadied himself there like an anchor before bringing their faces closer together, until the space between them was gone completely. It was not messy, Aziraphale didn't do messy but heavens was it desperate. Their lips met in a chaste kiss, angels eyes closed tightly //

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE He paused for a moment, his eyes trained onto Ferals again as they searched his face.

"Allow me a chance to start again...a chance for something...for an us?"

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE The angel froze unsure what to say. He knew better than to have his hopes up upon his return to earth. He had already established with himself that he won't be selfish enough to ask for forgiveness or for things to be as they were.

"A chance," he said quietly but hopeful.

//

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE The angel winced at the force of the man's grip on his hands, realising that his anger was quite possibly beating consolidating.

"No, no that's not what I meant. Not at all. " Aziraphale tries to reason. His brows knit as he searches Ferals eyes desperately.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE "but I couldn't stand the thought of you not existing," he admits as his hands turn over in Ferals hold, allowing for their fingers to interlock.

"You're crazy, unpredictable and feral in everything you do and I don't know what I would do without you,"

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE The angel lets out a sigh-like defeated chuckle, shaking his head slightly.

"Maybe..." He says but deep inside he knows that his wouldn't have backed down so easily and he would have had to do what he did, eventually.

"I really didn't want to leave you..." He mutters.
//

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE Aziraphale followed Feral up from the ground, his pristine beige trousers now bearing the mark of the stone beneath their feet.

He was hesitant at first but eventually his eyes drifted up to meet those stormy blue-greys.

"Of course I remember," Aziraphale offered quietly

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE , that all too familiar rigidness of his body.

It had never been directed at him in the past but now the angel was witnessing it first hand and although his heart ached and tore, he braced for punishment he knew he deserved.
He lowered his head, his eyes fluttering closed.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE The angel's teary eyes widened in shock, his breath caught somewhere between his throat and his chest, as he stared at Feral. For a brief moment the storm of emotions that ranged in Ferals eyes met his own.
He recognised the shift, the look in his eyes, the tension to his jaw //

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE that's the price..."
His voice cracked.
"If that's what it takes to keep you alive, then I'll pay it gladly."
Because he could survive Feral's hatred.
He could survive his anger.
His silence.
His rejection.
But he could never have survived losing him.

[A. Z Fell ( Aziraphale ) @CecilThewildone]

@Baddie48ofARSE not a world he could bear.
"You can hate me..."
The words broke apart as a sob tore through him.
His shoulders shook beneath the weight of everything he had carried alone.
"You can hate me for the rest of my life."
Aziraphale lifted his tear-filled gaze to meet Feral's.
"If--