Eddie “Turtle” Samford

Certified Ford mechanic | Chick Fil A signature member | Avid Enjoyer | Chicken wing enthusiast | Queso lover | Put chill zyn on the map

[Keg. @GratefulKeg]

Wife came home and said her coworker gave her these chips cause her kids didn’t like them.

Them kids wouldn’t know ball if it hit them in the face.

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Preston Howard don’t show face in Auburn again

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Sitting here at work facing evo mega knight what gets worse?

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

I can’t be the only one that loves watching these little Indian kids play games for food right ?

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Surgery this AM can’t wait for my milf of a nurse to roll me to my car

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

2 monsters and a can of zyn later still don’t understand accounting. Time to call my friend with adhd

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Last time I checked accounting doesn’t help me make a perfect bracket

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

If your still pinching people for not wearing green in college GET A LIFE

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Came home to these in the pantry , elite trade value back in the day

[WompsterMonster @WhompsterM80519]

Unless it’s to go hunting, fishing, or tailgating why is it impossible to wake up before 11 am

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Not today Tiger you can’t hide that lip pillow from me

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Are the Parke sweatshirts the new version of the GAP hoodies people wore in elementary school ?

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

LIV walked so that the TGL could run

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

About to show all the people campaigning on the concourse what a hard 90 looks like

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

I’ve played these games before

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

The only butt I’m getting this weekend

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

@bo_nernix Nobody cares

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Pissing on the formal bus feels like a game and I love it

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

Fuck all the people on rate my professor saying these classes were optional. They were indeed mandatory

[Eddie “Turtle” Samford @CertifiedBarner]

The gates of heaven