CFBHomer

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[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@QBgami Brock Osweiler

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@AustinAbbott 930

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@michaelmyllek @JohnDalyBooks Yeah that was a rough watch

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@JackMac Big dumb idiot of the week

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@Z4BTC_ Lmao what a fuckin dweeb

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@bostonradio Patriot fans and the players couldn’t possibly give less of a shit about any of this

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@HypeFFL Jonah Coleman

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@nfldraftscout He’s gonna play. End of sentence

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@nickercolano @bdge__ We just skipping dynasty draft content this year?

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@JakeCan72 Oil is priced globally, it doesn’t matter where we got it. Free market economics, when you fill up your tank you’re competing against every other person in the world to buy that gas. The price that China is willing to pay on a global scale changes our price here.

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@Suzierizzo1 It’s still a tax break lol. You pay zero taxes on the extra .5x pay that you receive when working more than 40 hours. Quit bitching

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@SweatyCyclist20 @danishacarterr Nah, it’s bc all the things I said up there. Also you’re French.

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@nocontextpsuftb Even with how much of a shitshow this turned into, I’d still consider that a home run hire

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@JesseMyers88 The past half decade was all leading to this year and the team disappointed every game all season. Looked awful vs 3 g5 teams then lost 2 inexcusable games in a row. All after never winning a big game in 12 years. The time had come to move on in my opinion even now

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@jamski @StanLabar30644 @PSUBarstool I’d be fine to cross that bridge if/when that actually happened

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@Blutman27 Nothing in this picture indicates anything about Hartline

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@BengalYouTube Kafka is a loser

[CFBHomer @CfbHomer]

@RonStewart_ If that was Mahomes the refs would have stopped the game to have state troopers come and arrest that linebacker for assault.