Chad Rodriguez

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

@HowardStern

[Lisa Lampanelli @LisaLampanelli]

Paul McCartney quits smoking pot at 69. 78 yr-old Willie Nelson responds: “What a pussy!”

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

Kid survives cancer suspended for growing his hair long so he can donate it. I'd be outraged if I wasn't online looking for hookers.

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

Don't forget; Patrice's CD, MR. P comes out FEB 7

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

@azizansari your the only person who when I read your tweets in my head it's in that voice you make when your imitating Harris #isthatweird

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

I have to shit, but am too lazy to get out of my chair.
#TroubleAhead

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

It's Saturday night. Don't forget to wash your ass.

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

@brenthatley captain hindsight, great reference!

[Arj Barker @arjbarker]

Just tried breakdancing for the first time since 85. Nothing like riding a bike it turns out.

[Shaun Latham. @ShaunLatham]

My true weakness Is cheeseburgers.
#mybad

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

Got a wrong # text. Called it. Outgoing message? My standup creepily slowed down. My plans tonight? Hmm, probably just getting murdered.

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

I like make-up sex but prefer you're-never-gonna-win-this-argument-babe-so-stop-sulking-let's-bang-then-go-eat sex.

[J Chris Newberg @thechrisarmy]

i like my coffee like i like my women, without a penis and an adams apple

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

@azizansari Those Kobe System commercials are fucking hilarious man. Just saw the one with Serena for the first time, almost pissed myself.

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

@brenthatley Judd for president.

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have.

[Bubba The Love Sponge®️ @TheBubbaArmy]

Hey bubba army retweet ur followers please to follow us. We are very close to 80k. Thank u

[Chad Rodriguez @ChadRod87]

Ok so Steven Tyler just said, "I just had a eargasm.", on American Idol. Officially not allowed to call himself a rockstar anymore...

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

CATHOLICS FOR THE DOWNSIZING OF THE VATICAN TO FEED THE WORLD (Pssst -- someone start this)