ChalkPenis

Dedicated to penis graffiti. Bus shelters, dusty windows, or drawn on someone's back - wherever it is found. Submissions welcome. Encouraged, in fact.

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Happy Christmas everyone!

Wishing all a lovely festive period, and an amazing 2026!

Image below is from Glasgow’s Christmas street lights, from a few years ago.

Does nobody ever check these things before they are erected?

A solid 7/10.

#ChalkPenis #HappyChristmas
🙂🎅🏻🎄🎁🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Fancy a bit of reading?

Did you know there is a whole @Wikipedia article on penis graffiti?

https://t.co/BFEoGgheuk

Interesting stuff.

Also, if you’ve got a couple of quid spare, maybe make a donation to keep it all free and independent.

#ChalkPenis

🙂👏📚💻🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

We welcome @POTUS to the UK this week.

Nobody quite does pomp and circumstance like we do?

Except maybe the Canadians? They seem to be pretty good at it too?

How about this for a gun salute.

9/10. Love this.

#ChalkPenis #DonaldTrump
🙂🍆💦🇬🇧🇺🇸

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

A foreign penis this time, from a recent trip to Montenegro.

Scraped into the dust on a @SEATofficial Toledo.

Good to see an overseas attempt, but could really do with a little more effort.

5/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂🍆🚙🇲🇪

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

This is funny.

As long as it has been done with a spoon, and not an actual penis.

That would contravene food hygiene regulations?

Although, good effort if it is a real penis, given the temperature and all that?

Little tub maybe?

Different. 8/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂👏🍆🍨☃️

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

We’ve all been there, some idiot pulls out in front of you, runs a red light, or cuts in late.

Bit of road rage? But what should you do?Why not draw a cock on their vehicle?

Good effort to be fair. Solid 8/10.

Reported by @jangelooff on @Gothamist

#ChalkPenis 🙂🍆🚚🇺🇸

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

This is brilliant. Make sure you listen to the lady go through the comments at the end.

Thank you @DaisyShylass, a great spot.

A good,solid 9/10.

#ChalkPenis 😂👏🍆🎂🍰

[LibertyJ @LibertyJen]

The internet is brutal 😂

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Penis Man!

The super hero that never was, but should definitely be.

Great clip from the local news on @abc15, from Tempe, Arizona. Only a couple of minutes, and well worth a watch.

Good effort, whoever you are. Solid 9/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂👏🇺🇸🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

@AdmiralFishnose @DaisyShylass On it… 😂

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

How about a 65 foot penis visible from space? On a school roof in Berlin.

Great effort, could do with a little more detail, but come on, it’s 65 feet long. 9/10.

Thank you to @DaisyShylass for spotting.

https://t.co/7hw9ikkdPz

#ChalkPenis 🙂🍆🏫🇩🇪

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Little old, but still interesting @Independent article.

Britons are most likely to draw a penis on a dirty car. Also popular, the words fuck, cunt and wanker.

https://t.co/H06ecMq1jo

7/10 for the example shown. Good, but would benefit from more detail.

#ChalkPenis 🙂🍆🚗🛻

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

A Friday afternoon video for you, spotted by @DaisyShylass, thank you.

Pink spray paint on a cabinet of some sort. Basic, but effective. 7/10.

Of course it’s headphones.

#ChalkPenis 😂🎧🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Ok, it’s not penis graffiti, and it’s probably not even a real thing. But it made us chuckle, and it is relevant to today?
7/10.
#HappyValentinesDay #ChalkPenis
🥩🌭🙂🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

One from last week’s cold snap. Not sure on the proportions, but still a good effort.

Would benefit from a little more detail.
7/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂👏🍆🌨️❄️☃️

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Just a little one we spotted over the weekend, getting harder and harder to find them out in the wild.

Hidden under a road bridge, local youths no doubt, well done kids. Black spray paint on concrete section.

Good effort but needs more detail. Solid 6/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂👏🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Spotted on socials by @DaisyShylass, perfect for this week.

Handcrafted from freshly fallen snow. Good size and well proportioned. A solid 8/10.

#ChalkPenis #WeatherWatch #Snow

🙂☃️❄️🌨️🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

@DaisyShylass We need a return to the glorious good old days of abundant penis graffiti 🙂

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Rudimentary, but recognisable. Looks to be yellow spray paint, on a pavement or similar.

Really does lack detail, apart from an attempt to add a little spurt at the end. 5/10.

#ChalkPenis  🙂🍆

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

@DaisyShylass Duly noted, maybe I was a bit harsh 😂

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

@sometimesyouwin Duly noted 🙂

[ChalkPenis @ChalkPenis]

Important to practise what you preach, so here is one of our own. Last one up after a house party - maybe a drink or two had been consumed. It’s what fluffy rugs were made for?

Honest review. Rushed effort. Lacks detail. Could do better. Must try harder. 5/10.

#ChalkPenis 🙂🍆