Chalupa Batman

Predator posing as a house pet. Wanderess. Shakespearean. Chris Farley's offspring. Slytherin. Believes 2pac is still alive. George Costanza IRL.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

I love that fresh cut flowers need that plant cocaine to thrive.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

FYI party people. I found out Monday I am NED— no evidence of disease 🤪 cancer is as existent as my sex life.....NON.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Hello. I live

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

@g_pratimaaa Florida man wanted to prove independence to mom so he tried to rob gas station

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

One of my kids keep calling me “Meatballs” and even called me “Mrs Balls”. He keeps interjecting my name (meatballs) into books, number stories, etc.

I love this smelly weird earth angels.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

@m0os3 You’ve got a good butt too so the tight cords are still welcome

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Was feeling so proud until my dad just burned me. Send help :(

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Saw two barn owls tonight. My heart is happy. The owls have a message for me!!!

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

I live on an island 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

I am SHOOK at how many people think Gordon Penetration Ramsay would dominate in the sack. At the end of the day, I’m letting Bobby NeverFlaccid Flay do whatever he wants to me.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Can’t tell whod be a better lay: Gordon Ramsay or Bobby Flay?? This is emergency science please help.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Just met a guy and his PET HAWK BALROG on the beach

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Survived the shower thanks for all of those who supported me

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Last night I fell so violently in the shower that I knocked down every item and fell out onto the rug, hurting every inch of my body. V panicky to shower again rn. Thoughts & prayers please.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

In the midst of my dad telling me his “greatest life achievement” is the amount of online solitaire he’s played, he sent me today’s comic

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Apparently I became a 45 year old white dad because I cannot stop playing online solitaire.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

Which part of @juliekos18 ‘s text is most concerning??

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

I’d be a much better member of society if I were actively getting laid.

[Chalupa Batman @ChalupaBatmanST]

The worst part of my job is presenting bad news to families, around a table with boat loads of people and often a translator. Tomorrow I get to have an annual meeting for a student which is all GOOD NEWS and I am fucking pumped.