Esoteric Humphrey

High up in the canopy, squint against the light of the sun and see me enjoying a fruit or perhaps a juicy bug

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Clipfarming account posting Frasier episodes:

He brought White Zinfandel to the dinner party 💀

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Unpopular opinion: god will smite you where you stand

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Lebron has acquired the giant fruit of laughter

[snout and slobber @cretincastle]

(Austin powers sees first plane hit the twin towers)
naughty pilot
(second plane)
wait a tick

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

@barnaclebucket AMC A listers rise up

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Why does Olimar throw those little colorful critters around willy nilly? They’re living creatures have some damn respect

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Whenever I see something upsetting that might ruin my day I just call it AI. On my way to work this morning I saw an elderly women get launched by a Ford F150 but it’s ok bc it didn’t happen, it was AI

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

@AmorphousAss But she changed her voice!!111!1!

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Just ate a big wedge of cheese in one bite and now my body has taken on its shape 🤦‍♂️

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

“Cleanup on aisle my pants!” he exclaimed after spilling his drink in aisle my pants

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

@a_space_person @VeinRichard my grandmother pleaded to my mom that I be named Ringo

[Darth Erogenous @darth_erogenous]

{overtaking a horrifying car crash on my bike} OK Vroomer 😭😤 {notices that my cousin is in it} Nathaniel!!!!!!!!!

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

@drpotato59 Gentleman where is my vehicle?

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

When I was a kid ESPN actually showed real shit - videos of my parents killing me, videos of my parents killing me with a doctor saying this is a real video, notre dame baseball highlights, videos of real mummies going completely apeshit

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Do you guys take your shower milk warm or on ice?

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

Anybody know what happens when you pickle a cucumber

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

The numbers 10-99 are called "the double digits". Memorize them. You don't want to be the guy at the party who's never heard of 57

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

They have relaxed the rules on traveling significantly.

[Esoteric Humphrey @ChargedFish]

You are one walk away from a redder brain. Let that sink in.

[Nicholas Fabiano, MD @NTFabiano]

You are one walk away from a better day.