billy idol

it’s not easy having a good time, even smiling makes my face ache

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

compromising my gender performance by bringing a purse to the grocery store so i can steal more stuff

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

we LOVE coming in to work to hear that the escaped homicidal convict that the police have been tracking for 11 days passed within 5 min of my house last night

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

is it narcissistic if i specifically made a playlist of songs from every genre that i never skip and am now just looking at it like “damn that’s a good playlist”

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

just had a house centipede crawl across my back under my shirt so if you don’t mind i’m going to go set my skin on fire

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

every time a cis man shares his thoughts or opinions, i get a little gayer!

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

i think i’d like to be a hippopotamus in my next life

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

one thing about me is i’m just a nosy lil bitch

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

everyone think i like pet-sitting bc i love animals but actually i just LOVE snooping around other people’s homes

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

i’m not digging through bedroom drawers for secrets either, i just like looking at wedding photos, kitchen storage layouts, bathroom products, i just like to gather information about a person and their habits

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

i want somebody to gently massage tiger balm into the folds of my brain i think that might finally heal me

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

i’m bitches (also include is chill fil a sauce)

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

bro why was it $200 to put the cool juice in my car’s a/c?? they really gave me a discount on labor too :/ the world is too expensive

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

i genuinely can’t tell whether we’re getting super weird thunder or if somebody’s lighting off fireworks during a storm (i think it’s the latter) welcome to pennsylvania

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

how do i break it to my dad that the reason he doesn’t “get” movies like everything everywhere all at once is bc they’re specifically about people like him who live 65 years without ever actually acknowledging their generational trauma

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

maybe once a week i think about how after wap cam out, ben shapiro revealed that he’s never once gotten his wife wet and EVERY TIME it makes me laugh so i’m just here to remind everyone again

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

in 2 weeks im seeing my dad’s side of the family for the first time in a minute and i can’t wait to come in hot with all the newest details of the gilgo beach killer case

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

bro says that dad (and grandma) complain to him that they haven’t heard from me in a while and i insist that telephones work BOTH WAYS

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

the new fight i’m constantly having with my brother is whether or not it’s my responsibility to call our father just to say hi

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

look i know me and my siblings are all between 5’7” and 6’2” but their kids are FREAKISHLY tall

[billy idol @Charizard1129]

there’s so much smoke in my town it looks like fog and smells like a bonfire but fuck if that’s gonna stop people from golfing!!