Sitting quietly. Shaking slightly. The answers don’t come quickly, and then, like a flood, they are all there. I wasn’t surprised. Change my view, change my place, change my resolve, love myself? There is a lot to work through, and seemingly no time to do so.
I wish there was a word for LOVE that did justice to how I feel. Unfortunately, no one word captures this feeling just right. Maybe I’ll write you a love story or a book of poetry instead. Second thought, you may need a few books for me to get even close.
I could never imagine hearing of someone’s pain, their torment, their world being torn upside down and offering them nothing. The coldness bites through the air, burns the heart, and imprints a moment into the mind that can never be erased.
I was sick and exhausted, broken and in despair. My daughter’s hands wrapped around me and took away my storm. From child to angel, they take care of our heart. They take care of us.
I thought I was done crying, done with my tears, and had nothing left. Then, my world flipped again, as it seems it always does. The tears come back, but this time, I am not afraid of them or what I find in them. I feel for those who have to see me cry and see my shield lowered..
When you make them the only one, when you don’t leave a door open for anyone else, any other options or possibilities. When you make sure they know that, feel that, and hear those words, they are the only one you will ever love and hold close. True love, true intentions...
The fear enters like a crack of thunder hidden by a black night. You hear it, you know it’s there, and you know what is coming but cannot see it yet. That kind of fear that grips you strangles you and holds you in place with no remorse and no letting up.
Would I drive hundreds of miles to see you, hug you, kiss you for five minutes, and head home? Of course, I would! You are worth that kind of love. I know if someone did that for me, I would feel that love so intently, so incredibly in my heart, forever.
My wish for you. Calm. Allow yourself to be calm. Do whatever you need to do to allow it to be, and more than that, allow your mind the chance to rest, catch up, take a break, and be calm.
The sun softly rises against that blue-green calm in the distance; the waves crash not into people but into endless grains of sand and shells. As we cut through the waves, we leave a hint that we were there, a ripple in the infinite flow of tides.
We may be tested even while going through our worst, but there is no chance we will let this world beat us down. We have more fight in us now than ever before. We’ve seen darkness, we’ve seen death. Even at our worst, we will still prevail because we will always fight.
They sit there as if they were twenty again, sipping their #coffee and talking about family, friends, and the neighborhood.
Now, well into their eighties, their coffee last longer, and their conversations with much more history. Their time together is incredibly precious...