Charles Beck

Nerd; tweeting on whatever I might be obsessing over at the moment. I'll do my best to be clever. I hate moosh on my tart.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

@JamesHarren1 I ask my local comic shop if they’ve heard when the next issue comes out. Today’s response was, “Maybe you should ask the writer” 🤣

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Can’t remember someone’s #name? #Protip: Just be an #asshole and they won’t want to hangout anyway. This works if you can remember there name too

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Tired of #cooking at home? #Protip: Wait until you’re neighbor leaves and then break into their house to cook. Not only do you have new surroundings, you’ll have the thrill of finishing your meal before your neighbors get back

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Don’t know what you’re doing? #Protip: They say #fakeittilyoumakeit, but I say fake it til you die. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. Just keep faking it.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Haven’t been motivated to make something with all your #freetime? #Protip: Steal the work from someone who isn’t well known. It’s only wrong if you get caught and even then just call accusations #fakenews and you’ll be fine.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

@rachaeleez Now it can be free 😂

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Need a #haircut? #Protip: Start with the back. That way, if you mess up, you just quit there and can pretend everything is fine.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

I got a #librarycard so I could use #Libby. Listening to the #audiobook of the first #HarryPotter and wondering where the Harry Potter universe #vampire book is.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Have lots of #Zoommeetings? #Protip: Take multiple videos of you looking engaged in different outfits. Play those videos as your #Zoom background and now you have free time to do what you want.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Tired of your #roommates or #spouse? #ProTip: Play a game of #monopoly. I. Dare. You.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Said something #stupid? #Protip: Double down and change your #argument when you are proven wrong. If that fails, change the subject. Those idiots won’t corner you.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

@rachaeleez But effective 😂

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Out of #toiletpaper? #Protip: Just don’t wipe. It will really help with #socialdistancing.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

The best part of #DjangoUnchained is when #Django uses #selfdefense against #racists.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Out of #alcohol and don’t want to go to the #store? #Protip: Check the back of your fridge for the #juice that has been fermenting for a few years.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Running low on #toiletpaper? #Protip: Switch to an all #cheese diet, that should slow your use of #TP

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Out of #shows to watch? #Protip: Get some #beers, grab a ladder, and climb on to your roof. Your neighbors can be your new show or, with enough beers, you’ll be the #entertainment. Either way, problem solved.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Need #money? #Protip: Don’t give away all your secrets. Venmo me $10 and I’ll let you know more

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

@rachaeleez I get tired of hearing their screams when I eat them though.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Feeling lonely during #selfquarantine? #Protip: Make #imaginaryfriends. Talk them like real people, break your psyche into little bits so each one can harness a piece of your mind, and when they tell you to do things, don’t! For real, don’t, they were made by a crazy person.

[Charles Beck @Charles_N_Beck]

Having trouble getting back to a normal #sleep schedule? #Protip: Go to bed early, turn off all the light, and sit in the darkness with your existential dread. Don’t forget to breathe.