Chase Nicholson

[runs even when not in a hurry]

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

Me [pausing after confidently oozing hand soap onto my toothbrush]: But how.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

In 2019 I did some things.
In 2020 I’ll likely continue doing some things. #NewYearsReflection

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

If I am a guest at your lovely home for the first time please be patient as I beeline toward every piece of sit-able furniture upon walking through the door so I may rate each item on my own undisclosed mental list.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

I would just like to thank 2019 for keeping lip-syncs of any kind (shows, competitions, social media stories, etc) out of my world.

*places single acorn on the ground in tribute to Mother Earth

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

Amidst the plethora of straw man arguments being tossed about I find myself tempted, nay inspired, to host a Wizard of Oz party.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

Why say “half a dozen” when you can just say “six?”

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@tashachristine_ *satisfying? Is that what you meant to type?

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

There’s no coming back after this https://t.co/fwZlwlvo4u

[Anthony Hopkins @AnthonyHopkins]

This is what happens when you’re all work and no play...

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@The__Ryno That is...terribly accurate.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@AmberlyJohnson Izzzzn’t that sexual assault? 👀

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@AmberlyJohnson I’m gonna need an honest Venn diagram if that name is going to continue.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@AmberlyJohnson Couldn’t be more right. Like that time I exclaimed, “PEANUT BUTTER IS MORE VERSATILE” in the middle of a jelly/jam market. Didn’t end well.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@The__Ryno And what do you say in reply each night?

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

What if cheese was mold and everyone continued eating i-?!... oh wait that’s right.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@tashachristine_ frick! Someone noticed! *dives back into gofer hole*

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

There are just some days that I'm not very good at the whole "doing-a-task" thing. Everything else is great.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

Just witnessed a tow truck towing a tow truck that was towing a car. Need Leonardo DiCaprio and his spin top ASAP.

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

Me: [@ my twitching latissimus muscle] Could you...please stop-?

Latissimus: WHAT'D YOU SAY, BOY?!

Me: omg plz don't hurt me

[Chase Nicholson @ChaseTNicholson]

@mahonup10 REAL MEAL FOR FIVE BUCKS. REAL MEAL FOR FIVE BUCKS. REAL MEAL FOR FIVE BUCKS. REAL MEAL FOR FIVE BUCKS. REAL MEAL FOR FIVE BUCKS.