Chase

This is my space for being random with intention.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Tonight I decided to finally read the label on the bottle of medicine I’ve been taking for most of the year. And well, ooops.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

One of my pet peeves is when somebody uses the word masturbate as a verb in relation to give another person pleasure. Example: we were six cars behind at the Taco Bell drive-thru so I masturbated him until it was our turn to order.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

I appreciate the city taking measures to prevent pedestrians from getting hit by cars, but pedestrians also need to participate in their not-getting-hit.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

There’s a commercial where a little girl ruthlessly hunts Easter eggs, stealing them out from under other kids, while the song Maniac from Flashdance can be heard. I’m glad that the song is finally being used for the context for which it was originally intended.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

I cannot express the joy I have thinking about the Smurfs working at McDonald’s.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Last night, @paulapoundstone told me not to let anyone be mean to me for dressing like a Smurf.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Dateline and 20/20 are telling the same true crime story at the same time tonight. I thought my TV was broken after switching between the two.

[The Smurfs @SmurfsMovie]

Root for the blue team. 💙 Check out the new Big Game Spot for #SmurfsMovie and watch the New Trailer now – Only in theatres July 18

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Whenever I have to change my password at work (for security reasons), I like to sing out my new password for all to hear so I won’t type the old one when logging in.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Book tie-ins for the upcoming Smurfs movie

[Chase @ChaserRay]

The only way this night could’ve ended better is if I had a magic pocket that made fresh mozzarella sticks.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Hey, @butterball - I spent five minutes trying to open your “easy” peel turkey sausage packaging before getting out my kitchen scissors.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

A Smurf cupcake #smurfsrpg @TheMaestroTeam

[Chase @ChaserRay]

The Lead Up to Halloween > Halloween

[Chase @ChaserRay]

One of my hidden virtues is sitting patiently at stop signs waiting for them to turn green.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

The bar is playing a remix of My Heart Will Go On. No one thinks me screaming, “Y’all going to drown,” is funny.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

So I just thought that someone was playfully touching my ass at the bar. Nope, apparently some short dancing girl’s purse brushed against my butt four times.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

I enjoy a toilet with a full bowl of water.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

I just saw a bottle of Palmolive dish soap that said it had a relaxing lavender and lime scent in the work break room, so I took a big huff. Lies.

[Chase @ChaserRay]

Late last year, the heel of my favorite pair of Smurf socks gave out. I was really upset because I didn’t have many pairs of Smurf socks. What I didn’t know then was that 2024 was going to be the year of Smurf socks!